Of Kunai And Wands
by ShiningSunsets
Summary: The Order of the Phoenix knew that overseas protection was being sent from a place called Konohagakure...what they didn't expect, however, is getting help from our favorite trio of ninjas. Better watch your back, Voldemort, because ANBU Squad Seven is coming to England!
1. Chapter 1

**Oh god...**

**I have a horrible feeling that this is going to end badly.**

**So! For anyone familiar with me, you'll now that this is my second fanfic ever! Also my first crossover, so frankly this is quite scary for me. Quite scary indeed... o_O**

**And of _course_, if I'm going to do a crossover, it has to be one of the most cliche ideas on FanFiction.**

***sigh***

**I know, I'm so original.**

**Anyways, this is a little something I dreamed up while on a Harry Potter/Naruto crossover binge during the past few months. It started out as the typical impulsive "gee, if I wrote this I would..." and eventually evolved into a full-out story idea.**

**To make things clear: there will be no romance, no OC's, no Akatsuki (I'm sorry!), and an older Team Seven. Whether this will be in the same universe as The New Sannin will be up to you. So give me your vote via PM, review, whatever works. I might even post a poll...hmm...**

**No idea where this is going. No plot, no nothing. Just literally making it up as I go. If people like it enough I might try and think up an entire plotline, but that's in the far, far future. Expect some strangeness and plotholes? ...Hell yes. Expect regular updates? ...Hell no. Expect this to be discontinued? ...Hopefully not.**

**Well, that's pretty much it. Whether this turns into a trainwreck or an actually cool story is yet to be seen.**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

"...The Ministry won't listen to what we say, and the public is hard to convince. Fudge and the Ministry have been calling us idiots, attention-seekers among other things. They're too comfortable with the way things are to stir up such a ruckus, and too afraid to admit the truth. And this is exactly what He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wants."

Harry Potter leaned forwards as Molly Weasley, whom he has always viewed as a surrogate mother, continued describing what had been happening while he was stuck at the Dursleys.

"He Who Must Not Be Named is gaining power, Harry. After last year where he was fully resurrected, he's been gathering an army. Death Eaters. There's been more breakouts in Azkaban in the past few months than there has been for the last twenty years." Remus Lupin stated grimly.

Harry shivered. "When are they going to attack?"

Sirius Black, Harry's godfather, spoke up. "We don't now, Harry. That's why we're taking more precautions this year. Voldemort," even now the name sent a shiver up everyone's spine, "will be after you first. So Dumbledore has hired some foreign help to protect both you and the school."

Harry groaned. "I don't need a bodyguard, Sirius, I'm perfectly capable of tending to myself!"

Tonks placed a hand on his shoulder. "We know, Harry. But You-Know-Who is not someone a fifth year can take on." Her hair turned a bright green. "It's not because you're weak Harry." She smiled. "Besides, especially now, Dumbledore is going to need all the help he can get to protect the school from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

Harry grunted. He knew he couldn't stand up to Voldemort himself, at least not yet, but he wasn't an idiot! He was strong enough to take care of himself.

However, Harry did see the importance of hiring guards for the school. Hogwarts was one of the few places that believed Voldemort's return, and it would definitely be one of Voldemort's first targets.

Hermione sent Sirius a confused glance. "But how can some foreigners stand up to You-Know-Who?" She wrung her hands. "The only wizard strong enough to best him is Dumbledore, and he's one of the strongest wizards of all time!" She crossed her arms indignantly. "And there's no way these foreign wizards are that strong!"

Mad-Eye Moody smirked. "Oh, they aren't wizards." He told them in his deep, scratchy voice.

Six indignant cries rang out.

"What!? You're sending _Muggles_ up against Voldemort?!" Harry gasped. "They don't have any magic! They'll be killed for sure!"

"Are you Order people out of your bloody minds!?" Ron shouted in rage.

Hermoine glared at every adult in sight. "I can't believe you would send Muggles to their own deaths! And why would they even agree to this!?" She questioned suspiciously. "Wouldn't you have to reveal our world to them if it meant getting their aid?"

Mad-Eye Moody sent the trio glare, his eye wizzing furiously. "You didn't let me finish!" He growled. Harry immediately shut up and shrank back in fear. "These people aren't Muggles. But they aren't wizards either." Harry sent a questioning glance to Hermione, who merely shrugged helplessly. For once, Hermione didn't know something.

Molly noticed their looks of confusion and continued for him.

"These people...well, I don't even know what they do. But they have a type of magic different from ours and they're very dangerous, from what Dumbledore told me." She mused. "Apparently Dumbledore's only hired three of them to come."

This caused another uproar of incredulity.

"Three?" George looked shocked. "Only three?" Harry silently agreed. "Three foreigners can't beat him, they'll just get slaughtered! Those foreign people should send an entire bloody army if they want to stand up to You-Know-Who!"

"Agreed." Fred said in agreement with his twin. "Shouldn't they? Or do they just not have the numbers?"

"Oh, I'm quite sure they have the numbers to send an army. They just chose not to." A very familiar voice informed them. "They are quite powerful."

"Albus/Professor!" Multiple Order members exclaimed as their leader entered through the doorway. There stood Albus Dumbledore in all his glory, glasses glinting in the lantern light and silver beard long as ever. His robes impeccably clean as always, he smiled that mysterious smile of his that always made people think he knew something they themselves didn't.

Molly rushed over and asked urgently, "Albus! Are they here yet? You said they would be here today!"

Harry's interest piqued. They were coming today?

Dumbledore's eyes glinted merrily as he nodded. "I was just instructing them on where to go to get over here. They're quite an...interesting bunch. Rather intimidating, however."

Ron's jaw dropped. "They're scary enough to make _Dumbledore_ intimidated?" He shuddered. "I don't know if I really want to meet these guys..."

"Same here..." Hermione whispered to him. "They must be on a totally different level."

Harry nodded in agreement.

Dumbledore scratched his beard. "Although I suppose intimidation is part of their job description..." He mused. "Why, I wouldn't be surprised if they were stronger then I am."

This time, everyone in the room had their jaws drop to the floor, and one very shocked Fred fell off his chair.

"WHAT!?" Everyone yelled in unison, Harry included. Mad-Eye Moody simply smirked at their gobsmacked expressions.

Hermione shook her head. "Professor, there's no way! You're being too modest!"

Dumbledore chuckled at their indignation. "Well, I suppose we could call ourselves equals. We cannot truly compare ourselves to them, since their magic is very...unique. They're taught differently from us...taught in a much more brutal and deadly matter." He sighed. "Such a shame that they were forced to grow up before their childhood ended..."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked nervously. _Brutal? Deadly?_

Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "It's not my place to tell. I would suggest asking when they arrive, though understandably they might not wish to respond."

Molly Weasly, her mothering nature taking charge, exclaimed, "Those poor dears! I should probably-"

"Molly," Mad-Eye Moody growled in his scrathcy voice. "As much as you may love kids, trust me, from what Dumbledore told me, they aren't your typical sweet little kids. I respect them for their constant vigilance, but I wouldn't trust them to be a foot away from my neck."

Harry's eyes felt like they were popping out of his head. If they could scare Mad-Eye Moody and be on equal grounds with Dumbledore...

What WERE these people?

Harry started to think. Not Muggles OR wizards...were they demons? Monsters? Cyborgs? Elite assassins? An ancient tribe of warrior people who lived for nothing but blooshed?

Nah, that was ridiculous.

Molly nodded, clearly a bit shaken from the revelation. "So were you just speaking with them?" She asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

Dumbledore shook his head. "Not them directly, no. I was speaking with their leader, Lady Tsunade about the deal. Since she has been kind enough to lend us three of her elite warriors, I payed a very nice 6,000,000 Japanese ryo."

Harry's brow raised. So they were from Japan? Who was this Lady Tsunami person?

"So they're from Japan?" Fred asked, repeating Harry's inner question.

Mad-Eye rolled his eye. "Obviously."

Hermione, whom was in the midst of doing quick calculations in her head, gasped as she came up with a shocking result. She gasped loudly. "No way!"

Her best friends looked at the girl in confusion. "What is it, Hermione?" Ron questioned.

"The price Professor Dumbledore's paying..." She gasped. "It's outrageous!"

"What?" Ron asked again, his curiosity growing.

She murmured something under her breath before muttering, "About 40 thousand pounds."

Harry, Sirius, and Arthur Weasley's mouths both dropped. (Being the only ones familiar with Muggle pounds.) Harry couldn't believe it. Who would pay that much for _three_ guards?

Molly asked hesitantly, "And how much in wizarding money?"

"...almost 10 thousand galleons." Hermione murmured again.

Everyone else's eyes bugged out of their heads. "WHAT!?"

Shock was evident on every face as the wizards either realized that either Dumbledore was officially going insane, or these people were worth the price, or perhaps he gave them extra money as a large tip. Of course, it could just be Dumbledore and one of his weird quirks too.

"But Dumbledore!" Sirius complained. "You could have hired three _dozen_ Aurors for that amount! Are these...guards," he spoke with uncertainty. "really worth it?"

The headmaster gave a calm smile. "Actually, I believe they're worth much, much more." He paused. "Well, we should probably get ready for their arrival as they will be outside in...oh, I believe they're here now." He told them with a crinkle in his eye.

Eyes wide, Harry bolted out into the hallway, his chair tumbling to the floor behind him, and Hermione and Ron following closely.

"Harry, wait!" Molly yelled but the boy paid no mind, for his heart was thumping in anticipation.

The trio's feet pounded as they ran - rather cautiously - past the portrait of Sirius's mom, over to the door.

Three pairs of expectant eyes observed the empty entryway.

Harry eyed the door expectantly. "Umm...when are they gonna b-"

A sudden gale of wind began buffering the trio of young wizards as a cyclone of leaves apppeared in the middle of the room. Harry didn't even have time to wonder where the wind and leaves came from when felt his glasses begin to slide off of his face and his feet sliding backwards and desperately shielded his eyes and glasses from the violent breeze.

"What the bloody hell is that!?" Ron screamed, falling to his knees from the howling winds.

"I don't know!" Hermione cried. She took out her wand. "Protego!" She yelled, casting a translucent shield over the three to protect them from the winds.

Harry sighed in relief, but stared at the miniature cyclone in a mixture of fascination, amazement, and fear. The powerful winds crashed against Hermione's makeshift barriers, and Harry had to marvel at the strength of the storm. Was this some kind of foreign spell, or were they under attack?

Slipping his wand into his hand, Harry prepared himself for the worst when the winds died down.

As the cyclone finally began slowing, and the leaves scattered to the floor, Harry realized they weren't the only ones in the hallway anymore.

Three shadowy figures stood in the eye of the mini hurricane, each one tall and imposing. Harry felt a shiver trail down his spine just from their silhouettes. The leaves fluttered to the ground in a perfect circle around them, giving a very dramatic effect.

The first figure was tall, almost 5 inches taller than Harry, and had spiky hair, but what color it was Harry couldn't tell in the dim lighting.

The second figure, in the middle, was a couple inches shorter than the first, and had short hair about to their chin.

The final figure was the tallest, a whopping half foot taller than Harry and stood even more imposingly than the other two (if that was possible). Their hair was spiked too, but only towards the back and gave a - Harry would've snorted had they not been so intimidating - chicken butt-like appearance.

A hand was placed on his shoulder and the boy looked up to see Dumbledore smiling like nothing was wrong. "Well, here are our guards." He shook his head. "I suppose they like dramatic entries."

* * *

_1 Hour Earlier:_

"Baa-chan...you had too much sake, didn't you?" Naruto questioned dubiously, shifting his weight to one foot, his arms crossed in an obviously disbelieving pose.

SMACK! The blonde was sent flying into a wall courtesy of the 5th Hokage. "Oooph!" He moaned.

"No, you brat, I'm NOT drunk." Senju Tsunade glared at the offending boy. "Some loony old man named," she looked at the mission scroll for reference, "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore," The three teens in the room began to snicker, "has requested that we do a protection mission for his school of magic for witches and wizards in Europe." That stopped their laughter short.

Silence filled the room.

"...You're joking, right?" Sasuke deadpanned.

She sent the boy a steely look. "Dead serious, Uchiha."

Naruto shook his head. "No way. This is some kind of prank or practical joke. I know these when I see em." - Sakura muttered something along the lines of how it "takes a prankster to know a prankster..." - "Granny, you aren't REALLY gonna believe this bullshit, are you?"

Smacking her forehead, she reached into a drawer and shoved a worn piece of paper - parchment? - in their faces. "There. Read it."

* * *

_Greetings Madame Hokage,_

_My name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and I write this letter to humbly request your aid in our world's time of need._

_A dangerous criminal by the name of Lord Voldemort is at large, and his first plan of action no doubt is to destroy my school and kill a certain boy. His name is Harry Potter._

_I would go into detail to explain our exact situation, but I'm afraid I do not have enough parchment and there are other details I must address first._

_Our world is very different from yours, as I am lead to believe. I belong to a world of magic, and my school is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Our magic is conjured by wands, magical combinations of wood and exotic cores from phoenix feathers to serpent scales to unicorn hair. _

_You have every right to be sceptical, Madame Hokage, but I plead for your to at least take a glance. _

_Our forces are small, and the Ministry of Magic, the main government and power here, is refusing to acknowledge the Dark Lord's return. We have been forced to desperate measures._

_I cannot say exactly Harry Potter's importance, but if he dies our efforts will be in vain and our world will fall. He, and my school, will need elite protection this year, and I am confident your warriors are more than up to the task. _

_We will need at the very least 3 of your warriors, preferably powerful and around the age of 15-16. This way, they can easily bond with our current fifth years, in which Harry is a part of, and also blend into the crowd if necessary._

_In return for your services, we are willing to pay a large sum of 6,000,000 yen to show our gratitude. This amount will be paid upfront, in which if you accept this I will come and meet with you personally._

_I beg of you to heed our beckoning and accept our request. We would be eternally grateful.  
_

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_

_Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

* * *

Sakura sucked in her breath. "Dear Kami, you weren't joking..."

"Thank you for your confidence in me." Tsundae said dryly.

Sasuke scoffed. "How do you know if we can even trust these guys? I bet it's a trap to lure us over there."

She shook her head. "I'm just as skeptical about this as you, but he's offering a shitload of money for this so it's at least worth a look." She crossed her fingers on the desk. "Besides," she smiled fondly, "even if it is a trap, who the hell could beat one of my best ANBU teams?" She sat back in her chair.

Sakura smiled proudly. "Thanks, shishou. We do our best." She replied modestly, tucking a stray strand of bubblegum hair behind her ear.

"So," Tsunade continued, "do you accept this...interesting mission?"

The three teens looked towards each other, a silent communication session in place. "We accept." Naruto and Sakura said in unison, Sasuke scowling next to them.

"Can't believe I'm being dragged into this..." Sasuke muttered. He shook his head. "I bet he's senile or something. This is a waste of time." His hands fingered his katana strapped in his back.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "So what? If he's lying and this is a trap, we can send a distress signal with our summons or just kick his ass. Do you really think a bunch of stick-waving idiots can beat a fully trained ANBU team? One punch from me and it'd all be over, shannaro!" A demonic glint seemed to appear in Sakura's eye as she pounded her closed fist into her other hand.

Sasuke seemed to concede with a shrug.

Smirking, Tsunade reached for the letter and placed it in the center of her massive piles of paperwork. "Anyways, he also sent the itinerary for the school semester. The school is seperated into four different 'houses' as they call them, except they're based on personality rather than simply dividing up the students. Each class has different year students, first years all the way up to seventh years."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "So they start training at age 1? That's harsh..."

Tsunade let out a barking laugh. "Not even close. Try _11_."

Naruto stared. "Seriously? That's it?" He scoffed. "By the time we were that age, we were fighting off missing-nin in Wave country, handling knives and weapons with perfect accuracy, and burning trees with Katon jutsus."

"What do they even learn?" Sakura motioned to be handed the scroll, which she was given, and began scanning it's contents. "Alright, from the looks of this...they only have ONE class for self-defense. The rest is mundane stuff...potions, history..._gardening_? Seriously?" She shook her head. "Man, these guys must _suck_." She scoffed. "_Gardening_!"

Beside her, Sasuke rolled his eyes and murmured, "Pathetic."

Naruto's curiosity piqued. "Lemme see the scroll!" He took a swipe.

Sakura pulled back at the last second. "Let me finish!" She scolded. Naruto, pouting like a puppy, conceded. The pinkette cleared her throat. "So they graduate at age 17-18...that old? By then most people are jounin, at the very least chunin!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Weaklings. I can see why they need to hire people to protect the school."

The Hokage took the scroll back. "Naruto. Sakura. Sasuke. We cannot underestimate their power. Since this is an entire new world we're dealing with, we don't know what we're allied with nor what we're facing. They could start be learning advanced potions in their 'gardening' class or could kill with their pinky finger-" Sasuke muttered how they 'already could', "or something outrageous. This is MAGIC. The possibilities are almost endless."

Naruto stared at her. "But baa-chan, how can people that wave freaking TWIGS around to cast magic spells like 'bippity-boppity-boo' be any threat to Konoha?"

The blonde Hokage sighed. "Naruto. We cannot assume anything about them just yet. We don't have enough info on their power and world to make an accurate assumption. Remember, over-confidence and assumptions about one's skill level will get you killed in the field." She said sternly.

Naruto hung his head. "I know..." He muttered.

"So that's why I'm assigning you all a secondary mission - find out as much information about this new world as possible, preferably without revealing to much about yourselves. See if you can gauge their skill level, military numbers, that kind of thing. Remember to go by your code names at all times and do not give away anything important. Although...some harmless information might not hurt, it will definitely intimidate them."

Naruto grinned, cheeriness back in full force. "Of course my lady! This'll be a breeze!" He gave her a mock salute and bow. "Your Drunk-Hokage-ness."

A tick appeared on Tsunade's head, and all three ANBU realized this meant Naruto was going to get beat up. Badly.

Naruto, realizing the deep shit he was in, turned to make a run for it, but it was already too late. The she-devil had been awakened, and she was NOT happy.

POW!

And sure enough, Naruto's face met the wall for the second time that day with a painful wham. "_Don't mock me you brat!_" The Hokage growled.

Sasuke, interrupting her anger fit, asked, "Wait. How long will we be there?"

Tsunade sighed, releasing a dazed Naruto to flop on to the ground. "The old crackpot wants you there for a whole school year...though technically I could recall you at any time."

Sakura's jaw dropped. "A whole year!? But that's so long! The longest mission we've ever been on was 4 months, and that was infiltrating a cult!"

"And won't some people figure out that our team is gone for a year at the same time an ANBU squad was sent out to this...Hogwarts? Our identities would be obvious!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "And they won't figure it out because of a three cell team, one blonde haired, one black haired, and one _pink_ haired, all are wearing ANBU masks?"

"...True." Sakura admitted.

Tsunade spoke, "To answer your question, I'll be officially sending Team 7 on a long-term mission to Wind country today. And no one but me and the ANBU themselves know when ANBU are deployed."

Sakura pulled her red and white cat mask over her face. "Alright, so when are we leaving?" She asked, her voice muffled.

Sasuke and Naruto (leaping up from the floor) followed suit, their dog and crow masks making their features disappear from sight.

The Hokage smirked evilly. "Hmm..." She checked her watch. "Oh, 25 minutes."

With widened eyes (though Tsunade couldn't see their eyes very well, with the masks and all) the three ANBU operatives disappeared with their sensei's signature Shushin, leaves fluttering to the ground where they once stood.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. Apart from their incredible skill, their dramatic entrances and exits were another thing their inherited from Kakashi.

She took a moment to relish in the thought of Konoha being feared even far away in this place called Hogwarts. ANBU Squad Seven would wreck havoc and insinuate fear, that much she knew for certain. And their destructive tendencies would actually be put to good use.

The Hokage laughed. "They didn't even realize that I didn't tell them how to get there..." She shrugged, grabbing a bottle of her precious sake. "Eh, they'll figure it out eventually."

* * *

"Ugh, of course baa-chan would give us a ridiculous deadline and then laugh about it...stupid granny." Naruto muttered irritably as he threw everything into a small bag and sealed his ninja weapons into a storage scroll. "She loves making us suffer."

Checking his inventory, he murmured out loud, "Toothbrush...extra clothes...ramen packets...hmm...anything else?"

Snatching his head, his mind ran over all of the supplies he needed.

"Already got my ANBU supply kit, so I'm good on uniforms and weapons...hmm..." He muttered.

The blonde ANBU shrugged. "Alright. I'm all set." He grinned, talking to the apartment.

Looking around his small apartment, he realized this would be the last time in a whole year he saw it. Heck, it'd be the last time in a year he'd be in Konoha! Eyes wide, he realized he needed to say goodbye to old man Teuchi and Ayame and Ichiaraku's before leaving, not to mention getting some ramen to snack on before leaving.

Now, one might think that 25 minutes (20, really, after all the packing) to visit some old friends _and_ eat a bowl of ramen wouldn't be enough time, but hey, it's _Naruto_ here. He could eat _15_ bowls in the time it takes a normal person to eat 2.

Naruto gave a big smile. "Ramen, here I come!"

Suddenly he stopped. "Right, my henge."

A poof of smoke and the ANBU outfit was replaced with Naruto's usual obnoxiously orange jumpsuit.

* * *

Sakura sighed. "Figures shishou gives us almost no warning whatsoever..."

Checking her medical scroll supply one more time, she hastily sealed her toiletries and clothes into separate storage scrolls, before placing them into a simple dark green bag, where her ANBU supplies already lay waiting.

"Hmmm...what else am I missing? Uh..." She mused, a nagging feeling at the back of her mind. "Oh!"

Sprinting into the bedroom, she raced over to her dresser and grabbed a necklace from her simple dresser. It was a silver charm necklace with a locket, with a picture of her and her two best friends on the inside. It had been her jounin promotion present from the two of them, and she treasured it more than anything else.

Grinning, she realized she should probably say goodbye to Ino and Tenten, and then realized that they would probably murder her for going on such a long mission.

Sakura sighed.

* * *

Sasuke grumbled to himself as he threw four kunai holders in the general direction of his bag.

"Ugh, having to deal with a senile old employer, the dobe, Sakura, and be away from Konoha for a whole damn year...so annoying." He muttered.

With a clunk, the last extra set of weapons fell into the bag.

The Uchiha grunted.

He looked around.

Nope, he wouldn't miss this place.

He _would_ miss training.

But...

Although the circumstances could be better, Sasuke grudgingly conceded that if he was going to be stuck in Europe with two people for a year, he'd rather have Naruto and Sakura watching his back than anyone else.

Not that he'd _ever_ admit it.

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he smirked. Europe was totally new...which meant another place to show off- _represent his country_ in.

He supposed he could get used to it.

* * *

Tsunade sighed happily, taking another long swig of her sake.

Pretty soon, her top ANBU team would be in Europe causing all sorts of mischief and striking fear into the hearts of the weaklings - well, _assumed_ weaklings.

She'd get a buttload of money to buff up the Konoha treasury, her favorite team (she couldn't openly show favoritism but it was true) would get the job done and find out some important info, and she wouldn't have to raise a finger.

Just how she liked it.

A masked ANBU guard suddenly appeared before the blonde, startling her and causing her to almost drop her sake.

"What?" She demanded, irritated about her precious sake almost being spilled.

The ANBU, whom she could see from the shoulder was a female, began curtly. "Someone outside is requesting your presence, Lady Hokage."

"Oh?" Tsunade raised a delicate eyebrow. "From what village?"

The ANBU shook her head. "Apparently he's not from a hidden village."

Brows furrowed in confusion, she questioned, "Then why was he allowed inside the tower?"

The officer strangely looked almost...sheepish? "We do not know, Lady Hokage. He appaeared out of nowhere, yet there was no flare of chakra. As a matter of fact, according to reports, he doesn't have chakra at all." She exclaimed with as much emotion an ANBU could express.

Tsunade was undeniably curious, but also suspicious. She was Hokage, after all, and couldnt afford any risks. The medic inside of her was itching to see why they had no chakra and could still teleport. "Let him in."

The officer protested, "But Lady Hokage-"

"But station twenty of our best ANBU in hidden locations around this room, and bring me my personal assistants." The Hokage finished.

The ANBU sighed softly, bowing. "Yes, Hokage-sama." With a puff of smoke, the officer disappeared, while silent shadows slunk into the room and positioned themselves. Tsunade felt a surge of relief as her trusted guard formed ranks. Finally, two of her best jounin Shushined to her side and stood at attention.

"Hokage-sama." They inclined their heads.

The Senji offered them a terse smile. "Izumo. Kotetsu."

Greetings done, the three shinobi turned towards the doorway expectantly, and after a moment, the door opened. In walked an elderly old man, with half-moon shaped glasses and long silver robes, robes that almost matched his hair in color. His eyes were twinkling merrily and he held a long staff in one hand.

He bowed in greeting. "Greetings, Lady Tsunade."

The Senju princess glanced at him suspiciously. "And who are you?"

The old man smiled. "My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I believe I have employed a few of your warriors - unless, of course, I'm at the incorrect village." He replied in a calm voice.

Blinking in astonishment, Tsunade shook her head. "No, you're at the correct village. What can I do for you?" Silently, she signaled for her ANBU to observe him closely to make sure he didn't try anything. Seeing the shadows on the ceiling shift slightly and feel a strong A-Rank concelement genjutsu being cast calmed her nerves a bit.

Albus reached into his robes and pulled out a pouch. "This is for you, your upfront payment as promised."

"Ah." Tsunade's face was considerably less suspicious. "Thank you." He placed the pouch on her desk with a soft clinking sound, and Tsunade eyed the money rather greedily - Kami knows that the treasury could use some buffing up. However, she didn't touch it.

The old man chuckled. "I assure you, Madam Hokage, the money is all there, no traps or tricks. I wouldn't pull anything on you, you are lending us your help after all." He smiled. "Besides, one of your secret warriors would certainly decapitate me if I was trying to scam you."

Tsunade was shocked and silently impressed, but didn't say a word, instead examining the old man in a new light. The Senju princess had a feeling he knew what she was thinking too.

Tsunade didn't like this feeling. She should be the one in power here, not an old man. She straightened her posture, and beside her Izuno and Kotetsu shifted slightly, noticing her slight change in movement.

His eyes twinkled. "I come for another reason, however. I'd like to inform you of a location to teleport to when your warriors come to England. Since they have...I belive it's called _chakra_, it should be an easy task." Noticing Tsunade's slightly stunned look, he added, "I have simply done my research, let me reassure you I do not know anything outside of the basics." He continued, "Although they probably have skills for transportation on their own, it might be best for them to use one of our teleportation devices in order to arrive at the right location."

The Hokage shook her head, suspicion still in her gaze but diminished slightly. "Well, where shall they teleport to? And what shall they use?"

The old headmaster presented her with a simple silver key. "This is a portkey, or a teleportation device. This will lead you directly outside of our location, and you can simply teleport inside, since our enchantments won't keep foreign magic as powerful as yours out... - unless, of course, you wish to skip the dramatics and simply use the door." he said in good humor.

Tsundae smirked. "I know already which way my team will decide..." She laced her fingers. "We'll take it."

Dumbledore laughed. "Of course." Handing her the portkey, he looked around. "Your village is quite amazing, Madam Hokage, I must say, especially for your age."

At this Tsunade gave a boisterous laugh, slapping her hand against the table. "Ha! Well thank you for the compliment, but I'm much older than I look. And my predecessors are really the ones that deserve all the credit. I simply took up the reigns."

The headmaster laughed. "Well, you have indeed done an excellent job."

"Thank you." Tsunade said curtly, all business now. "Before you leave, however, I need to make some requirements about the use of my team. Call it rules, regulations, restrictions, whatever. But if you do not follow them, I will know and summon my troops back immediately."

The man nodded. "I assumed as much. We are happy to ablidge to your rules."

"Number one- my shinobi are there for protection and protection only. You cannot make them attack a target, gather intelligence or anything of that sort. This mission is protecting and we will follow it to the letter, nothing more, nothing less." Seeing the headmaster nod, she continied. "Number two- Even though they are under your employment, my shinobi take orders from me only. You cannot force them to do anything they don't want to. This includes where they sleep, eat, rest, set up traps and the like." The headmaster nodded once again. Tsunade finally said, "And the last rule- fearsome as they may be, my shinobi are still human, and you will treat them with that same courtesy. They still need food and water, and kindness is not out of order either."

Dumbledore, smiling kindly, nodded once again. "I swear on my honor as the Headmaster of Hogwarts that we will abide these rules as long as the contract requires." He sent her a twinkling look. "Besides, we are a kind school, and will not mistreat children no matter where they are from."

Tsunade nodded satisfactorily. She had done everything that needed to be done. Her team would be respected and treated fairly. She had gotten her payment and her rules across.

She was still careful, of course. Ninja never let their guard down. But seeing as he already payed and agreed to her rules, there was no reason for him to double-cross them now, not when it was them who were offering him their help.

Unless, of course, it was a trap. It would be the perfect setup, her most powerful ANBU team out of commission and the coins infested with tracking devices of something.

Ugh.

Dumbledore rolled back a long sleeve and checked a large golden watch. "Oh dear, it seems like I need to be at a meeting soon." He bowed deeply. "It was an honor meeting you Madam Hokage."

Tsunade nodded.

Pulling out a twig from the inside of his robe, he waved it once, muttering something in a strange language. Tsunade narrowed her eyes. Suddenly, the man disappeared, as though he was never here in the first place.

Three ANBU, in a single instant, jumped down and examined where the man once stood for traces.

Another ANBU, jumping down from the ceiling, saluted and asked, "Lady Hokage, shall we notify ANBU Squad Seven about this...teleportation device?"

With an evil smirk, she shook her head no. "Let them figure it out for themselves. They'll figure out that I never told them how to get there...eventually."

* * *

_Meanwhile:_

Two blurs ran and encased the pink haired girl in a spine-crushing hug. "Forehead!" Ino cheered. "You finally came to see your poor abandoned friends, didn't you?" She teased.

Tenten smiled. "Yeah, we've been waiting for DAYS! How was your last mission?"

Sakura, pulling herself out of their grasps, smiled sheepishly. "It went pretty well. We underestimated our target though, and Sasuke almost passed out from chakra exhaustion because he used Chidori too many times. Plus, Tsunade-shishou almost killed Naruto from destroying two buildings and a boat."

Ino raised an eyebrow. "So...about as normal as it gets for you three?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Sakura shrugged.

Tenten slung an arm over her shoulder. "We gotta go catch up! You've been so busy with your _jounin_ work..." Tenten winked. "And I know you're wearing the henge," she whispered. "You better change out of gear soon, or Ino'll notice!"

"Yeah!" Ino, not hearing Tenten's whispered words, agreed. "Let's go shopping!"

Sakura smiled awkwardly. Tenten too was a part of ANBU, along with her team. They both used their 'jounin' status as cover to go on missions, since ANBU operatives were kept a secret from everyone, including their friends and most of their family.

"Yeah, about that..." Sakura winced, hating to break it to them, "I kinda sorta got drafted for another mission." She messed with the dark green bag on her shoulder awkwardly.

Both girls sighed exasperatedly. "Really, Forehead," Ino chided, "You need to give yourself a break! Jounin should be having it easy, take your old sensei for an example." she snorted.

Tenten only looked at her expectantly. "So? When will you be back?"

Sakura looked down.

"...It's a long-term mission. I'll be gone for almost an entire year or more." She murmured.

Ino threw herself onto Sakura. "Forehead!" She wailed. "How could you do this to me, abandoning your best friend yet again!" The blonde locked Sakura in a death grip. "And for an entire year!"

The pinkette patted her on the shoulder awkwardly, not really knowing what to do.

Tenten inquired, "When do you leave?"

Another mumble. "...Today."

This sent Ino into another fit of hysterics, screaming at how she would be "forced to wait even looooonger for our shopping trip!"

Tenten sighed. "Sak, I know this missions is probably important and all, but...send a summon every once and a while, ok?" She smiled. "It's boring without you around."

The pinkette nodded furiously. "Of course! I'll send Kasumi every now and then, maybe even bring you something as a gift!" She breathed out a sigh of relief. "Ninja's honor!"

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "Sak, ninjas HAVE no honor."

A shrug was all she got in response.

Sighing, Tenten said, "Alright, I'll take your word for it, but you better come back in one piece and ready for a sparring session!"

"Deal." Sakura grinned.

Ino, recovering from her fit, gently pushed Sakura in the direction of the gate. "Go on Forehead, make Konoha proud!" She said. "Oh, and make sure Naruto and Sasuke don't destroy everything!"

* * *

"Old Man! Gimme three orders of ramen for on the go, stat!" The blonde ramen menace shouted as he threw money onto the counter.

The owner, Teuchi, growled playfully. "You better be happy that you're a regular customer, or I would've smacked you upside the head for ordering me around!"

Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Good to see ya too, Old Man Teuchi." Spotting his daughter bringing out his ramen, completely packaged and ready to go, Naruto grinned. "Hi Ayame!"

The woman smiled at him. "Nice to see you again Naruto. Business is always dull without you hollering for more every ten seconds." She laughed.

Placing the tray of ramen containers in front of him, Old Man Teuchi questioned, "If you don't mind, what are these for?"

Sighing, the blonde explained, "I got a long-term mission. I need these for the road, since it might be a while until I actually get ramen again." He said glumly.

Teuchi laughed. "Well, whatever you're doing, stay safe and keep out of trouble." Noticing Ayame's raised eyebrow, he amended, "Keep out of _too much_ trouble."

"Will do!" chirped the blonde ninja as he scooped the ramen into his arms. "Wait, I only ordered 3. Why are there four?"

Teuchi smiled. "Think of it as a going-away present for our most loyal customer."

Grinning, Naruto cheered. "Thanks a bunch old man!"

Taking a step down the road, Naruto's heart was full. Warm goodbyes and an armful of ramen...

"UZUMAKI!"

Naruto, startled, almost dropped the tray. "W-what?" Looking around, he noticed a certain pinkette with an angry expression on her face.

"Come on, we need to go. Drop the Henge once we're out of range."

"Yessir!"

Strong, chakra-laced fingers grabbed his arm tightly. That was definitely a bruise forming... "I am not a 'sir', idiot." The girl growled.

Naruto gulped. "Yes ma'am!"

Sakura smiled.

* * *

"_Inu_! Inu, come on! Hurry up!" Sakura scolded as she dragged her teammate up onto the Konoha rooftops.

"Ow, ow, ow! Not the ears, Neko-chan, not the ears!" Naruto yelped in pain as her gloved fingers began tugging on his precious earlobes.

Sakura sent him a glare. "Well hurry up then Inu! You took too long getting your stupid ramen, we have to be at the gate ASAP to meet up with Karasu!"

Naruto sighed resignedly as the pink haired girl continued to drag him along. Leaping to another rooftop, she felt the wind rustle through her locks as she realized with excitement that _they were going to Europe!_

It was a once-in-a-generation opportunity for a shinobi, since it was so ridiculously far away and so foreign. No one from the Elemental Nations had ever ventured that far, at least, not for the last 100 years. It was so distant it was almost a myth.

And now they were going. Sakura could hardly contain her excitement.

"Neko."

Turning, the pinkette grinned at the sight of her other team member.

"Karasu!" She greeted.

The Uchiha grunted. "Why are we here again?"

Naruto laughed. "Hahahaha you're so stupid Teme, obviously we're leaving for the mission-" He paused. "Wait. Where are we going?"

Sakura opened her mouth, about to speak, but then closed it again.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "And you called me stupid."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING STUPID UCHIHA?!"

"...not you, Sakura. Tch. Obviously the dobe."

"Good. That's what I thought."

"TEME YOU BASTARD HOW DARE YOU CALL ME STUPID YOU-"

Luckily for them, no one was really paying attention to their bickering, as they were shouting at least 10 giveaways per person.

_Five minutes later..._

"BAA-CHAN! Why didn't you tell us where to go!?" Naruto shouted in outrage as he and the other two (rather pissed off) members of ANBU Squad Seven burst into the Hokage's office.

The blonde Sannin smirked. "Because I wanted to see how long it took you to realize it."

Sasuke glared, Naruto began screaming profanities that will not be repeated as Sakura followed suit.

Staring at them with amusement, the Hokage called out, "Well? Don't you want to know where you'll be going and how you'll get there?"

The three (two) quieted down immediately and looked at her eagerly.

"Well shishou? Where are we going?" The pinkette asked impatiently.

"You're going to be using this." In the Hokage's hand was a simple silver key. "Apparently this is a Shushin device that will take you directly in front of the location. I don't really trust his word, even though we already got the money. So be prepared for anything." She smirked. "Oh, and don't lack in the intimidation department. We don't know if this new world is a potential ally or not, so be sure to scare the pants off of them."

The three ANBU smirked right back.

"Not a problem." Sasuke grinned, fingering his katana once again.

Sakura cracked her knuckles. "This is gonna be _fun_."

"Alright! Let's do this, dattebayo!" Naruto shouted, pumping his fist.

Handing Naruto the key, the Hokage clapped her hands once. "Alright. ANBU Squad Seven, go out and make Konoha proud!"

The three teammates each grabbed onto the key.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Sakura bent forward to examine the key.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Sasuke glared at it with Uchiha Death Glare #5, powerful enough to melt glass.

And waited.

And waited.

..."Um, baa-chan? Why isn't this thing working?"

Tsunade looked as confused as they were. "I don't know! All he told me was that-"

Suddenly, a whirl of foreign magical power swept through the room and the three ANBU members screamed, much to the Hokage's slight alarm. With a swirl of power, the three ANBU seemed to be sucked into the empty space in the air, leaving nothing behind. Two of the ANBU rushed down from the ceiling and examined the spot Team Seven was a second ago.

"-it would transport you there." The blonde finished lamely.

The Hokage sighed. She didn't show it, but this mission would be dangerous. She only hoped that it wasn't a setup or a trap, and that her favorite team would make it out alive. _Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke...be safe._

"Shizune! I need my sake!"

* * *

"W-w-who are you?" Ron stuttered as the three figures stepped out of the whirlwind.

Harry and Hermione, right beside him, were staring at the figures in awe and fear as well.

As the three silhouettes stepped into the torchlight, Harry could see clearly why they were considered so 'intimidating'.

The three figures were all lean, tall, and very muscular. All three figures wore matching uniforms of what seemed to be black leather and silver armor pieces. They wore ceramic masks with animalistic features, and had giant sheathes and scrolls tied to their backs.

Yup, definitely not lacking on the intimidation part.

But what bugged Harry the most was the middle figure. It had pink hair. _Pink_!

_Is the person like Tonks, a Metamorphmagus_? Harry wondered.

Hermoine seemed to be thinking along the same lines, as she was looking between the middle figure, who looked decidedly female (though it could just be the hair).

"_Kon'nichiwa. Wareware wa anata no hogo no tame ni, Konohagakure no seiei no bodīgādodearu._" Spoke a female voice.

The three kids, and the adults behind them, all cocked their heads.

"Uh...what did you just say?" Harry replied confusedly.

The figure tilted her head right back. "_Anata dake no nanite itta_?"

Molly Weasley stepped forward. "Hello there, my name is Molly Weasley. Are you the bodyguards we sent for?"

The second figure spoke up as well. "_Matte wa sorera o rikai suru koto wa dekimasen_!?"

Finally, the third figure spoke.

"_Tch. Kore wa bakagete iru. Naze wareware wa futatabi kore o yatte iru_?"

The female flicked him, and with unbelievable strength sent him reeling and stumbling to keep his balance with such a featherlight touch.

Harry stepped back a few steps, Molly and the others following suit.

"Relax, my friends. I shall introduce us." A calm voice spoke up behind the group, and once again Dumbledore stepped into the limelight.

The old man uttered a spell, something no one could make out, and strode over to the group. "_Kon'nichiwa, watashi no yūjin. Igirisu ni kangei shimasu_."

* * *

"_Greetings, my friends, and welcome to England_." The old man spoke warmly.

Sakura raised an eyebrow (currently covered by her mask). "_You can speak our language_?"

Dumbledore nodded. "_I didn't learn it myself, but I used a spell - I believe in your world it's called 'jutsu' - to teach myself to speak Japanese._" He replied.

Naruto gaped behind his dog mask.

Sasuke spoke up. "_We should introduce ourselves, Neko_."

Beside him the girl huffed. "_Inu. You're the leader, begin the introductions._"

Naruto grinned (once again, behind his dog mask), and assumed his best 'intimidating' voice. "_I am Inu, leader of Squad Seven and ANBU officer. These are my teammates, fellow ANBU Neko and Karasu. We are here for your protection_."

The old man inclined his head. "_My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts. These are my fellow wizards and witches, also my comrades in our organization the Order of the Phoenix_."

The three ANBU nodded.

"_If you would not mind, since this language translation spell can only be performed on the caster, I will gather some English-Japanese dictionaries for you to observe, in case you need to communicate with us_."

"_That seems acceptable. English was the language you were speaking earlier, correct?_" Naruto inquired. Ohh, he just loved pretending to be intimidating and cold!

"_Yes_." Dumbledore confirmed. "_It is our native language_."

Sasuke spoke. "_Where are we_?"

Dumbledore swept his arms outwards, as though presenting a grand banquet. "_This is our headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, and also the ancestral home of one of my friends, Sirius Black_."

Sakura spoke up. "_What do you wish for us to do for the time being_?"

The old man smiled pleasantly. "_Since the school year has not started, please make yourself at home in our headquarters. Molly_," the man pointed to the woman with the fiery orange hair, "_will show you to your quarters_."

Sasuke grunted. "_You two go on ahead, I'll take the first shift_."

"_Nope. Karasu, you need the rest more than we do. You look dead on your feet from our last mission_."

The boy scoffed. "_Please. Chidori may drain a lot of chakra, but chakra depletion isn't that big of a problem. I killed him perfectly fine without chakra."_

Sakura stubbornly shook her head. "_You're going to bed. I'll take the first shift."_ She cracked her knuckles. "_Unless you want to keep resisting._.."

Luckily, Sasuke knew when to pick his battles. Deciding that taking the first shift was not worth getting beaten up by Sakura's super strength, he conceded. "_Fine. Tch_."

Dumbledore, off to the side, looked very awkward all of a sudden. "_Yes, well, whenever you're ready, Molly can show you around_."

Naruto inclined his head. "_We thank you for your hospitality. If you don't mind, we shall be retiring for the...night._" Finally noticing how dark is was outside, he murmured to his teammates, "_We must be in a different timezone._"

Dumbledore clapped his hands together and turned towards Molly. Speaking with her in what seemed like English, the old man described something to her, Molly nodding along.

One of the people in the back waved a...stick?...and a silvery animal summon suddenly shot out of the stick and vanished. The three ninja blinked in surprise.

Inu, facade forgotten, whispered to Sakura, "_This place is weird_."

* * *

Dumbledore turned away from the threesome and reverted back to English. "Molly, if you don't mind, please take them to the room on the top floor, the one with the large window.

Molly replied with a quick, "Of course, Albus!" and - rather hesitantly - stepped forward.

"Remus, if you'd be so kind to alert Professor McGonagall that our bodyguards have arrived and will transfer to the school tomorrow." Nodding his head, the werewolf shot a Patronus from his wand, and the silver animal vanished into the night.

"Professor? What do you mean about them going to Hogwarts tomorrow? Schocolate doesn't start for another few days." Hermione asked.

Harry started, realizing he had missed that rather interesting piece of information.

"They will be arriving early, to set up traps and familiar themselves with the surrounding area." Dumbledore replied. "Also, to give them some time to practice English."

"But isn't their job to protect Harry? What about the time in between them leaving and us arriving at Hogwarts?"

The old headmaster let out a laugh. "Why, Harry will be with all of you. He will be perfectly safe. This is a secret location, after all."

Molly, in the same spot as she was previously, tried and once again failed to get the bodyguards' attention. "Albus, they don't understand what I'm saying!"

"My apologies." He told her, before stepping back to the three mysterious people. He spoke once again in their native tongue.

The three figures stopped to question Dumbledore with something. The old man laughed before responding in Japanese, then switching to English. Harry felt bad, since juggling two languages obviously wasn't an easy feat. "Ah, how silly of me. Introductions must be made of course."

Presenting the three, Dumbledore said, "These are our guardians for the next year. Meet Inu," the blonde with the dog mask nodded, "Neko," the pinkette with the cat-like mask bowed, "and Karasu." The black haired one with the bird-like mask grunted.

Harry decided not to comment on the weird names.

"Friendly bunch," Ron muttered.

Hermione nudged him. "Ron!"

Meanwhile Dumbledore had stepped back and was now explaining something to the bodyguards, and Harry could catch small phrases like "Harry", "Ron", and "Sirius", so he assumed Dumbledore was also introducing them.

Speaking something in their native oriental tongue, the pink haired ANBU (was her name Nico or something?) directed a question of some sorts towards Dumbledore, who nodded. "Neko has requested me to tell you all that they will be patrolling the area tonight, as it is their custom when protecting a client. They will be leaving tomorrow, but will be protecting the grounds in this manner as well. If you see or hear anything suspicious, please alert them immediately."

Harry nodded, feeling grim. The nervousnsss twisted in his gut since Dumbledore announced the bodyguards seemed to grow.

From the posture of the three, they looked dangerous. Fierce. Deadly.

This wasn't the kind of protection one would get at a time of peace.

Harry realized this was beyond just him. Voldemort was truly back, and once again posed a dangerous threat to the Wizarding World.

Without the support of the Ministry, they were on their own.

The seriousness of the situation was finally dawning on him. It wasn't just another year at Hogwarts - it was the makings of a war.

**And there you have it. For some weird reason, I'm in love with my closing line...quite shallow, ne? ^^"**

**It was rather interesting but difficult to juggle so many different people in one room at the same time, as my writing skills are amateur at best, so I've seen many instances where some characters just disappear into thin air until they pop up for that one key line...Sigh. It's also been a while since I've read the fifth book, so I apologize for any plot errors you might find.**

**But 9.3k words! This sounds pathetic but I am truly proud of myself. :P **

**Please review! I would really like to see some feedback on this new venture of mine. Feedback can include anything from OOC'ness to plot holes to the crappy Japanese translations... Google Translate better pull through or I will be very cross.**

**R&amp;R!**

**Love,**

**HawaiianSunsets**


	2. Chapter 2

**Jeez. It's only been one chapter and I have over 20 reviews, a whole bunch of favorites, and over 100 followers? Such insanity. Thank you all! I hope this chapter was worth the hype (never thought it would even GET hype, lol) and enjoy, everyone!**

As soon as the stuttering redhead left the room (personally, he found her to be really, really annoying), the three ninja stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do.

The room was alright, Sasuke supposed.

There were three beds, all lined in a row. There were small chests at the foot of each bed and a wooden table on the opposite side of the room, with three accompanying chairs. Everything was in such sets of three Sasuke felt like he was in a 'Three Samurai Bears and the Goldilocks Ninja' story.

It wasn't great by any stretch of the imagination. It was no luxury hotel, not with its slightly dusty curtains covering the dirty glass windows and simple beige walls, adorned with a single picture of a skull with roses budding out of the top and blood dripping off their petals (lovely). The ground, despite being clean, squeaked horribly, and the beds looked...well, like large, overgrown pillows compared to the low and comfortable beds at home.

It wasn't the Uchiha compound, it _certainly_ wasn't great, but it was adequate and, to be perfectly honest, a lot more than he expected when he had first arrived.

* * *

_Earlier that evening:_

* * *

The three shinobi were caught completely off guard by the sudden swell of foreign power as their feet rose off the ground. Doing what most humans would in their situation, they screamed; and the last sight they saw was Tsunade's slightly panicked face before their entire word seemed to dissolve and they were sucked into a violent vortex.

Their vision was nothing but torrents of flashing color and wind, the three holding onto the key-port (was that what it was called?) for dear life. The vacuum around them was completely impenetrable; there was nothing but them and the teleportation device it seemed, though the area seemed to go on forever. There was swirling colors around them, like neon lights, and buffeting winds that were icy cold and burning hot at the same time. He was being thrown around in random directions, like a messed up rodeo ride. It was the ultimate definition of 'sensory overload'.

They could see occasional glimpses of one another; his teammates were extremely brightly colored and Sasuke could recognize that exact shade of blonde and pink anywhere. Their masks, though not completely torn loose, were pushed to the sides of their faces; the side of Sasuke's crow mask was digging uncomfortably into his cheek. Naruto's face was strangled, his blue eyes were flashing wildly, and the arm free from the key-port was flailing wildly. Sakura wasn't much better, her cat mask moved completely to the back of her head, so Sasuke could see the terrified look on her face.

"HOLY MOTHER OF RAMEN, WHAT THE FLYING ZETSU IS GOING ON HERE!?" Naruto screamed, as expected, like a little girl.

Nearby, Sakura, despite being thrown around by the winds, managed to send him an exasperated look and a yell of, "Zetsu? _What_?"

"HE'S A FRICKIN' BIPOLAR PLANT MONSTER, THINK ABOUT HOW FUNNY IT WOULD BE TO SEE HIM SPROUT WINGS AND FLY."

Sakura let out a strangled laugh, muffled by the speed of the winds.

Sasuke snorted at the dobe's predictable idiocy, but inwardly chuckled at the thought of the psychotic, cannibalistic plant man growing fluffy angel wings and soaring in the sky.

Hm. He'd have to remember that one.

(A very, very far distance away, a certain Akatsuki member came down with a suspicious case of the sniffles)

The winds seemed to suddenly pick up, which was surprising considering that it was hard for them to get any faster, and Sasuke felt his body slam into someone else's (he assumed it was Sakura, judging from the lack of 'TEME YOU BASTARD, STAY AWAY FROM ME' shouts in retaliation) and felt his grip on the key-port slipping. He silently began to panic; what would happen if he got torn away from the device? Would he be stuck in this void-like place forever, drifting aimlessly until he died? Would he suddenly drop out of the sky in some faraway place?

Apparently the others were struggling to keep their grips too, but the winds suddenly ended - and not a moment too soon - and the threesome were thrown violently out of the vortex. Their surroundings came into focus abruptly and where there was once nothing but wind there was now _sidewalk that was coming way way waywaywayway too fast-_

"OOF!"

Despite their skills, the three couldn't control their nasty case of vertigo as they abruptly landed on the pavement. Sakura - the lucky bitch - landed splat on top of Naruto, her body slamming into the blonde's abdomen (the blonde didn't seem to mind the pain - what a _shock - _and simply flashed her a foxy grin), while Naruto...was sprawled on top of Sasuke's entire body and he _couldn't breathe dammit_!

Sasuke's head throbbed from hitting the pavement and the weight of his two teammates centered entirely on his back didn't help matters. His ceramic mask clattered to the floor. Mustering air, the Uchiha growled out a very grumpy, "Get _off_, you idiot."

The ramen lover blinked, taking in the scene properly, before letting out a guffaw. "Oh man, this is _perfect_! My dear, _dear_ teammate gets to be right where he belongs - cushioning my _delicate_ behind - while I get to snuggle with my other, _lovely_ teammate. I think I'll just stay here for a while..." he shifted his arms to wrap around Sakura and laughed again. "Oh yeah, I'm _definitely_ not moving."

The Uchiha twitched violently. Despite his mild irritation (read: utter fury) towards his blonde _idiot_ of a teammate, Sasuke, with all his brilliant intellect, could clearly see the outcome of his earlier comment. Inwardly thanking Sakura's monstrous temper, he counted down in his head:

3...

2..

1-

"LIKE HELL YOU'RE STAYING THERE, _BASTARD_!"

An angry fist smashed into Naruto's poor face, a - in Sasuke's opinion - satisfying crack heralding the blonde's scream of "AHHHH! Sakuwa-chan! 'Ow could 'ou!"

(Sasuke silently snickered at the way Naruto pronounced the words; his nose was very clearly broken)

Jumping nimbly to her feet, Sakura huffed while brushing off her pant legs. Naruto followed soon after, clutching his nose and mumbling incoherently. Finally Sasuke rose, grabbing his mask and tying it to the side of his head, before his hands slipped into his cargo pant's pockets.

"So, what now?" Sakura questioned.

Looking around, it was painfully obvious that they were no longer in Japan; as a matter of fact, the architecture was utterly foreign. The houses were lined up in neat rows, the paint dark and foreboding. It seemed to be around either dusk or dawn; not quite bright out but not quite dark either. The shadows from the - rising? setting? - sun cast eerie shadows along the road, only adding to the gothic, welcome-to-your-death feel.

"So, does this mean that eweywone in Euwope is moody and dark like Sasgay? Ugh." Naruto muttered in a nasally voice. He was clutching his nose.

Sakura rolled her eyes and walked over to retrieve the port-key, which had fallen a few feet away. Snatching it from the ground, she found it had a single slip of paper attached to it that _certainly_ wasn't there before. Sakura frowned. "Hey, boys, look at this."

At her call, the two boys trotted over and examined the paper slip.

Written in neat Japanese were the words:

_The Order of the Phoenix headquarters is located at 12 Grimmauld Place._

* * *

Five minutes later, after closely examining each of the houses, Team Seven could say with complete confidence that_ there was no goddamn 12 Grimmauld Place anywhere in the immediate area._

Sasuke was certain they had read the paper slip correctly, even though it had literally self-destructed as soon as they walked over and read it once ("NARUTO!" Sakura scolded. "What did you do!?" Naruto yelped, "Sakuwa-chan! I dedn't do anyding!"). He did, after all, memorize it immediately.

Sakura's shoulders slumped. "I have no idea what we do now." She groaned heavily, rubbing her forehead.

"There must be something we're missing." Sasuke mused.

Naruto's face twisted as he tried to think. "Well...we could...um...we could try...argh! Sakuwa-chan, sewiously, fix my nose please! I can't dink right!"

"Fine, you little wimp." She walked over, her hands glowing with chakra, and placed a healing palm over his nose. She muttered under her breath, "...not like you can think right either way, but whatever." which prompted Naruto to pout.

The Uchiha heir, deciding to continue searching rather than stick with his annoying teammates, returned to the area with 11 and 13 Grimmauld Place, his hand reaching to his mouth suspiciously. _There's no way it doesn't exist, unless this is a trap or a prank. But what if they disguised it? Apparently this is a secret meeting place; perhaps they took the necessary measures to make sure it was protected. After all, the note DID self-destruct, so obviously not many people are supposed to know about this._

Sasuke called forth his Sharingan, and his family doujutsu bled into his obsidian eyes, their tomoe spinning. The sudden sharpening of his view, with even the smallest details coming into perfect clarity, once gave him a headache but was now as familiar as breathing. Using his enhanced vision, he examined the spot. Everything, including the chakra flows in the air and earth beneath them, seemed regular. Suddenly, he noticed something out of place and his eyes widened minutely.

He was right. There was a disturbance in between the two houses, similar to genjutsu but..._foreign_. It was a rippling, translucent disturbance in the natural look of the area and, while it practically screamed 'illusion', the technique was _different_. And yet Sasuke couldn't tell how. It was like looking at two different fruits, exactly the same kind, the same color and type, but the shapes were different _just_ enough to be able to differentiate . Sasuke assumed it was wizard magic, because he was confident that the illusion used was not found in the Elemental Nations - perhaps not even anywhere else in the world. Summoning his chakra, he wove his hands into a ram seal. "Kai."

The single word drew the other two to his side immediately to witness the extraordinarily out-of-place sight. A deep rumbling sound heralded an entire transformation of the shapes of the houses. The two neighboring houses moved, as if they were being pulled by an invisible hand, and in between was a new house being pulled into existence. The entire area shimmered brightly, much brighter than before.

Naruto's mouth formed an 'o'. "Whoaaa."

"Didn't know these wizards could use genjutsu." Sakura murmured. She peered at the second house.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "They shouldn't be able to. There's something different about it, but I don't know what."

Sakura, a curious look on her face, walked forward. "Hmm...I can sorta see this..._disturbance_ around the house, it's there but super faint... You're right, it's like a genjutsu but it's...not compressed, not stretched either...missing something?"

Sasuke nodded - that was the word he was looking for. Something, some component of a normal genjutsu, was _missing_. "That seems right."

"But what's missing? Obviously the effect is more or less the same, other than the fact that normally genjutsu dispel after using a release, but then..." Sakura trailed off, biting her lip with her eyes clouded in thought.

Naruto, with a rare moment of insight, commented, "Well, using jutsu or similar stuff needs physical _and_ spiritual energy, right?" Both of his teammates turned to look at him. "Since it's different, well, maybe they're just using one type of energy, or different amounts, or something like that. That would explain the whole missing component..."

Sasuke practically gaped at the blonde. "Naruto..." he trailed off.

"That's actually a really good theory." Sakura finished. Smiling, she patted him on the head. "Looks like you have something up there other than ramen."

"I'll have you know I am in fact perfectly intelligent." The blonde stuck his tongue out.

"But never when it matters, dobe."

"You're going down, _teme_!"

"Tch. As if, _dobe_."

* * *

After Sakura successfully halted another Naruto-Sasuke brawl (by pounding them both into the ground), the group decided it was about time they went in and stopped getting distracted.

After walking up to the front steps, they were greeted with an extremely ominous looking door. It was jet black, and matched the abandoned and desolate yard perfectly. "Umm...can't say I want to go in there." Sakura said.

"With ya there, Sakura-chan. That place is screaming 'spooky'. Also, it's almost definitely a trap."

"Don't be such babies."

"Don't get cocky, _Uchiha_. I don't recall _you_ being any help the last time we went on a set-up mission."

"I saved your ass from getting electrocuted."

"As I recall, you saved me, then tried to take on the attackers by yourself, got your ass kicked, and then was on the brink of death for the next half hour while I tried to simultaneously save your life and fight the bad guys."

"Tch."

"She's got you there, teme."

"Well," said Sakura, taking charge, "let's look at this logically. Option one, this is a trap, meaning they either want to kill us or capture us because they were paid to. Option two, this is STILL a trap, and they have some kind of grudge against us...for some reason. Option three, they actually need our help and are being totally honest. Option four, they're being partially honest and they're fishing for information or allies."

Naruto stroked an imaginary beard. "According to our track record, and the info we got, it's almost definitely a trap."

Sakura nodded. "Or they want info about ninja."

"Either way, they're not exactly our friends. So how are we going to get in? Personally, I think using the door is just a _little_ unsafe."

"No shit." Sasuke grunted.

"How about we just Shushin in?" Sakura suggested. "I mean, worst case scenario we miss the first couple of traps, which gives us at least a fighting chance, and best case scenario we scare the _shit_ out of those little magic people."

"Ehh, why not. Sounds like fun."

"Heh."

"See, Sasu-cakes actually agrees!"

"It's the most logical approach."

"Please. Like that's what you care about. Sasuke just _loves_ to show off, and this is the perfect place to do so."

"Tch."

"You're not denying it, teme."

"Ahem." Sakura interrupted. "On three?"

"Yeah." Naruto's entire persona changed, from trickster to leader.

"One." Sasuke said.

"Two."

"Three!" Sakura shouted, and they all disappeared. Behind them, leaves fluttered to the ground.

* * *

As the bearded old guy, Dumbly-door, was talking with the redheaded woman inside, the three ninja stood erectly, all while signing to each other in barely noticeable hand gestures.

Naruto: _See the guy with the glasses? That's our target._

Sakura: _Yeah. The one with the scar and black hair?_

Sasuke: _Yup_.

Sakura: _He looks...kinda young, honestly. Naive, even._

Naruto_: Well, it's not like he ASKED some random psycho to target him._

Sakura_: Wait, what?_

Naruto_: Oh, right, you haven't read the file yet. I'll fill you in later when we have privacy._

Sasuke_, _Sakura_: Roger._

Naruto_: Also - incoming redheaded lady. Probably gonna tell us something._

Sakura_: Dum-bly-door did say she was gonna give us sleeping arrangements. Weren't you listening?_

Naruto: _I knew that. What was her name again?_

Sakura: ...

Sasuke_: Her name was Molly, or something like that. Weren't you listening Sakura?_

Sakura: _Shut up._

Naruto: _Okay, okay, remember, head in the game._

Sakura, Sasuke: _Yes, commander._

Sasuke_: She sure looks nervous. Heh._

Sakura_: Hush, Sasuke._

The redheaded woman spoke to them...in a completely foreign language. Naruto winced behind his mask.

"Ummm...how do I say this...excuse me, ma'am, but we don't understand you." Sakura told her, trying her best to annunciate slowly.

The redhead continued to talk, blabbering - in Naruto's opinion - complete and utter nonsense, before pausing, looking behind her, and waving her arms helplessly. Dumbly-door, probably taking pity on them, walked forward.

"My apologies, Headmaster-sama, but I'm afraid I don't know any of the people here besides the target. Would you mind..." Naruto trailed off meaningfully.

"Ah, yes." The old man said graciously. "The two red headed adults are Arthur and Molly Weasley...oh, pardon me, I seem to recall you put surnames first, correct?" At Naruto's nod, he continued. "Those two are Weasley Arthur-san and Weasley Molly-san. Their children are the twins Weasley George-san and Weasley Fred-san, the two tall young men in the back also with red hair. The two younger ones are Weasley Ron-kun, their youngest son, and Weasley Ginevra-chan, their only daughter. She prefers to be called Ginny, by the way. The dark haired one in the middle, next to Arthur-san, is Black Sirius-san, the owner of the house. On his other side, with the beard and grey hair, is Lupin Remus-san. The woman with the bright purple hair is Tonks Nymphadora-san, though she prefers to be known by her surname only. The man with the long hair and the fake eyeball is Moody Alastor; his nickname is Mad-Eye Moody. The young woman in the front with the curly hair is Granger Hermione, and finally there is your charge with the dark hair, Potter Harry."

Naruto nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet all of them."

Dumbledore turned back to the audience of foreigners and spoke for a while, finally coming up with words they recognized: "Inu," he said, and Naruto stepped forward and inclined his head, "Neko," Sakura bowed in acknowledgement, "Karasu." Dumbledore finished, and Sasuke only grunted his recognition.

"Excuse me, Headmaster-sama," Sakura interrupted, and Dumbledore turned towards her. "Please inform them that it is standard protocol on protection missions to patrol the immediate area, to check for threats and to set up perimeter traps. We will also be patrolling at your school, once we arrive. When we are doing so, please also advise them that wandering around at night is not wise. The people gathered here," she gestured to the crowd, "is probably not accustomed to such measures, and we wish to inform them ahead of time, to prevent any incidents."

Naruto almost smacked his forehead. Of course he should've mentioned that; the civilians at home were barely used to shinobi protocol, how were these foreigners supposed to know what the shinobi were doing, sneaking around at night?

Dumbly-door nodded his consent, before turning and speaking with Molly-san and then the group. He finished speaking and they all nodded grimly.

Molly-san came forward once again, and rather than speak, simply gestured to the far stairwell. The three ninja nodded, and they made their way up to their room.

* * *

As soon as Molly left them alone, all at once the three shinobi sagged from their positions. Their masks were pulled from their heads, revealing weary faces.

"Man, these foreigners are exhausting!" Naruto quipped. "Do you know how hard it is to stay in character AND good posture while they're talking complete gibberish?"

"Yeah," replied Sakura, as she wandered the room. "We should start on these books soon," she gestured to a pile on the wooden table, "since we will be transferring to the school tomorrow. Don't wanna be caught unaware."

"This is such a drag." Sasuke muttered as he too examined the book pile. He picked up a book, weighing it. "These are freaking heavy."

Naruto laughed. "Whatever you say, Shikamaru."

Sakura nudged Naruto. "Defense protocol, remember?" she hissed.

"Crap, you're right. Let my guard down. Sasuke, I need a strong genjutsu perimeter. A-Rank, preferably. Sakura, do a scan of the house and see where everyone is. I want a full reading on everyone's location. No eavesdroppers."

Sasuke began weaving handseals, while Sakura knelt on the floor in a meditative position. Both of their chakras flared, Sasuke's growing and swirling in a condensed area while Sakura's swept out across the room and into the house. Both of their signatures, Naruto found, were familiar and comforting.

While his teammates were at work, Naruto put his bag down on the bed closest to the door, to be the barrier between enemies and his team. It was one of the first things Tsunade drilled into his head about being an ANBU captain. ("You will do anything and everything in your power to protect your teammates from harm. You will be the first in and last out of every battle. You will be the frontrunner, and their shield. You will guard them with your life. You will take hits for them, rescue them, and die for them if necessary. That is the responsibility that comes with being a captain." "I know, baa-chan, but you do realize I do that already, right? And they do the same for me.")

"Done." Sakura suddenly said. "No eavesdroppers, just one person coming up the stairs." Footsteps outside confirmed her words. "I also got a pretty good idea of the layout, so if we need to I'll draw a map. Probably not necessary, though."

Naruto nodded. "Good work. Sasuke?"

"Done."

"Excellent." Naruto grinned. "Now that the boring stuff's out of the way, let's check out our new pad!"

Moving back towards one of the beds, Sakura tried opening the middle chest, to find a toiletry back, a change of pajamas, and a box of cookies. "Check this out!"

Naruto found the same, except a bag of foreign candy, and Sasuke got a strawberry Pocky box. Needless to say, both Sakura and Naruto laughed at him.

"This is pretty considerate," Naruto mentioned. "Most clients don't put this much effort in."

Sakura smiled. "It's pretty nice," she admitted, "though I feel bad 'cause none of us wear pajamas. But I will be taking this extra toothbrush!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Didn't you guys bring your own provisions?"

"Well, yeah," Naruto replies, "but we're gonna be here for an entire YEAR. Having some extras won't hurt."

Sakura plopped down on the middle bed, grasping Naruto's wrist and pulling him to sit down opposite to her. "So, talk. What the heck is this protection gig about anyways? Why are we doing this?"

Sasuke, also curious, sat down next to the two.

"Well," Naruto started, pulling out a file from his provisional pack, "basically, this is how everything went down - evil snake man tried to take over the world."

"Orochimaru?" Sasuke interrupted, eyes alert.

"Nope. Someone named...Vol-de-mort, or something. Someone with an equally long and stupid name, that's for sure. Apparently he also has a snake fetish, so there's that too. _Anyways_, evil snake guy wants to take over the world. He pretty much succeeds. He hears a prophecy: A kid born on some specific day will be his doom, blah blah blah. So he goes out to find the baby, who happens to be the Harry guy. Surprise, surprise. But they're protected with some just by this guy, except the guy decides to pass the protection gig to another guy, who - PLOT TWIST - turns out to go traitor.

"Voldemort comes to their now unprotected house. He killed the kid's dad first, and then moved on to the mom and kid who were barricaded in a room...which was really stupid. I mean, just run outside woman! The kid's mom, Lily, was all like 'No! Kill me instead, save my baby!' but Voldemort was all like 'Nope! Muahahahaha DIE YA BITCH!' and killed her too. He then tried to kill the little baby Harry, except the killing spell-jutsu-thing bounced off because he was protected BY THE POWER OF LOOOOOVE - apparently - and hit him instead, not killing him but pretty much weakening him to the point where he couldn't even finish off an baby. The spell-jutsu-thing, however left a scar, hence the lightning bolt shaped thing on his forehead.

"So yeah, ever since then he's been trying to finish what he started but was failing miserably until now. Now though, Voldy's gained enough power to really return and his followers - whom have the stupidest name ever - the _Death Eaters_, are escaping prison and stuff. And basically we need to ward off any Voldy attempts this year."

Sasuke blinked. "That was a complete load of bullshit."

"That was literally the stupidest story I've ever heard." Sakura agreed.

Naruto grinned. "I know, right? But it's true! Check the file if you don't believe me!"

"I believe you...I just can't believe that WE, out of all people, had to take this damn whackjob mission." Sakura grumbled. "So, what's the game plan? How are we going to approach this?"

"Well, I was thinking we start off with the basics, you know, perimeter traps, constant observation, maybe a bit of ninja-ing around. We really don't know what this guy is capable of yet." Naruto noted.

"That's true." Sasuke added his input. "For now, we should treat this like he will be sending attempts every day. All we need is one lax day, one slip-up, and we fail this mission."

"But for an entire year? This is going to be exhausting."

"I know, Sakura-chan." Naruto patted her on the back. "We'll be leaving for the castle tomorrow, so we'll hopefully get a better idea of our enemy by then."

"Speaking of info gathering, what about our secondary mission?" Sakura asked. "There's probably only so much they're going to be willing to tell foreigners like us."

"Well, from what the file said, the castle has a library. One of the largest of magic, in fact."

"Seriously?" Sakura practically squealed. "Well, I know where I'll be!"

"Easy tiger," Sasuke said, smirking lightly.

"But this is totally cool! I can read super fast and with some help from my and Naruto's shadow clones, we can learn practically EVERYTHING about this world!" Sakura was bouncing now.

"All of a sudden you're excited," Naruto noted, also smirking. "Well, if you can finish wringing that library dry in between patrolling and guarding, we'll be all set."

"Still, we should get some direct info from people as well." Sasuke cautioned. "Libraries can be obsolete."

"True." Naruto noted. He furrowed his brow, suddenly remembering something. "Why did they tell us they had a library full of information? Surely they're not that dumb, to reveal everything."

"Well," Sakura said, having grabbed the file earlier, "It was talking about the stuff the castle has 'for our convenience'. Maybe they're trying to impress us? Like a sales pitch?"

"Maybe. They seem to be fairly trusting so far. Maybe they need our help that badly."

"This entire thing is just wacky." Naruto groaned. He cackled a bit, his demeanor doing an immediate 180. "But then again...the wacky jobs are always the most fun!"

Sakura snorted. "Yeah, just keep talking until someone force-feeds you a frog."

"...Sakura, the hell?" Naruto said helplessly.

"What? Aren't witches and wizards supposed to eat frogs?" Sakura looked genuinely confused, which was somewhat astounding.

"_No_, Sakura-chan, they're supposed to have frog _familiars_. _French_ people eat frogs."

"Oh. Carry on."

Sasuke blinked dazedly. "I'm lost."

"I feel you bro."

"Women are confusing."

"_Truth_, my friend, _truth_."

"And weird."

Naruto patted him on the back, sympathy written on his face. "Women are one of the mysterious phenomenons of the universe. They're hormonal, moody, irrational, and really just make no sens- OW!" The blonde turned to glare at the pinkette.

Sakura huffed. "Too much freaking testosterone in one room. I'm leaving for patrol." She sat up, grabbing her mask, before throwing both males onto the floor. "Off my bed."

"Love you too Sakura-chan!" Naruto blew her a kiss. Sakura flipped him the bird in response.

As soon as she was out the door, Sasuke turned to Naruto incredulously. "You were _asking_ to be beaten to a bloody pulp."

"I am a man of danger. I _live_ for the thrill." Naruto announced proudly, puffing his chest out.

"Yeah, and you're going to end up _dead_ from 'the thrill'." Sasuke said dryly.

* * *

The house was really creepy, Sakura decided as she made her way past her third _moving _(the paintings were fucking moving! Like, the threes were swaying and the animals were walking around, what the HELL), glow-in-the-dark painting of hellish, creepy scenery, the kind of place you'd expect to see someone viciously murdered in a bloody, painful way. There were dark, creepy forests, a fiery pit, and a dark, foreboding ocean. With a sinking boat. Ugh.

Atmosphere aside, the paintings provided yet another clue that something was very, very wrong with either the house, the family, or both. Sakura had seen enough horror movies to know that a single girl wandering alone in a potentially haunted house was bad, bad news.

**_Concentrate, girl. You have a job so do it! You've done plenty scarier things before. _**Her inner, of course, was her always-there voice of reason.

_Yeah_,_ but not in a foreign country where literally _anything_ could happen_.

**_Sheesh. Just breathe. You're doing fine._**

Cloaking herself in a potent genjutsu, she tugged it close like a security blanket as she silently set up a chakra trap. Using her finely-tuned control, she wove a net of pure chakra around a doorway. With her energy infused in it, she could sense someone's presence the second they walked through this doorway.

_Bam. It's the only hallway with a staircase, too. I doubt anyone's going to attack the night before we leave but it certainly wouldn't hurt._

**_Do your best to leave some lasting traps, or at least a couple baddie sensing ones. You're leaving tomorrow and school doesn't start for a couple more days. Who knows what could happen?_**

_Good point. I'll keep that in mind._

Circling another hallway, Sakura silently tiptoed to the walls, before crawling up the side. Her foot hit something. Sakura assumed it was a painting...until it started to_ fucking talk_.

"OW!"

Sakura started violently, moving back and withdrawing multiple kunai. Her eyes moved frantically for a target.

_**Okay, okay, you were right! There's fucking ghosts here! Kill them! Kill them with fire!**_

"Hey, what's with the commotion all of a sudden? Did someone's painting fall down again?"

"Keep it down!"

"Trying to _sleep_!"

Multiple voices chorused around the hallway, causing Sakura to completely freeze in place. She prepared her chakra to Shushin away from danger.

"Someone kicked me! There's someb'dy goin' round _kickin_' me!"

"Calm it, old geezer. I don't see anyone."

"There was someb'dy, I _swear on Merlin's bloody beard_ there was someb'dy kickin' me!"

"Sure. Whatever you say."

"Sheesh, who has the gall to go kickin' somebody at this hour? This is what we get for lettin' that damn Sirius house his weird ol' chums in here! As soon as Dumbledore and his freakin' circus show move in _everything_ goes to hell!"

"Mhmm. Another lecture. Fantastic."

"They're taintin' the Black family name! Why, if I could get out of this bloody painting there'd be hell to pay for those usurpers!"

"If you're going to rant, old man, do it in your head. I'm going back to bed."

"Man, the _lunatic_..."

"I'm not crazy you darn nipper-snappers! You listen here!"

Sakura let out a deep breath as she took in the facts. Obviously, she could understand the paintings. Why, she didn't know. They were...arguing? She had kicked a painting, causing a large ruckus. The painting was old and apparently senile, so nobody paid it any mind.

Sakura teleported a few feet away, brushing herself off and feeling the goosebumps on her arms. She breathed deeply.

_**That was probably the weirdest thing I've seen in a long while.**_

_You can say that again._

* * *

"So, Sasuke, talk to me! Bro talk, one on one!" Naruto had leapt onto Sasuke's bed, despite owner of said bed's blatant disagreement, and was now trying to coerce him into conversation.

"_No_, you idiot."

Needless to say, it wasn't working.

"Aw come on! Sakura's not back from patrol and it's not like we have anything better to do! Let the words slip out of your mouth! ...Oops. Sorry. That was uncalled for, I admit."

"Not interested."

"Why not? Obviously you have _some_ thoughts up in that big Uchiha-patented brain of yours, so _spill_ some of those super-intellectual genius thoughts! How do you feel? Share your feelings with Dr. Uzumaki!"

"_If_ I was going to share my feelings with anyone, the _last_ person I'd share them with is you."

"Ouch, Sasuke! Right in here." Naruto pointed to his chest. "It hurts, man. You wound me!"

"Good."

"_Sasukeeeeee_!"

"Hn."

"Not the 'hn'! _Anything_ but the 'hn'!"

"_Hn_."

"No! It _burns_!"

"Hnnnnnnnnnnn."

"Stop it! _Stop_ it!" Naruto was practically writhing on the floor in agony.

...Sasuke, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying himself.

"You're an idiot, Naruto."

"So I've been told..." Naruto muttered weakly from the fetal position at the foot of Sasuke's bed.

"_What_ are you two doing?"

Both men looked up to find a sufficiently pissed Sakura, staring down at them with equal amounts of rage and confusion. She had, apparently, returned from her patrol, to find

"Oh, er, _hi_ Sakura-chan! Y'see, me and Sasuke here were having a beautiful heart-to-heart-"

"No, we weren't," Sasuke corrected in an annoyed fashion.

"-about our deepest, innermost manly feelings of love and joy-"

"_What_-" Sasuke started.

"-and also about many delicious, godly things like ramen-"

"Ramen is NOT-" Sasuke tried to insert.

"-and we somehow got to the topic of love interests-"

"_NARUTO_-" The Uchiha looked ready to rampage.

"-and he he declared that he had fallen for my impeccable charm and good looks! I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, you were my first love and an awesome teammate and I'll never forget you, but I'm going to elope with Sasuke! Hold me, darling!" Naruto then swan-dived onto Sasuke, who immediately pushed him - hard - off his bed and began advancing with a kunai raised. The Uchiha looked like he was going to gut the blonde like a fish. And then fry him. And possibly eat him.

Sakura, blinking dazedly, finally snapped to her senses and pulled the two apart (saving Naruto's life in the process). The Uchiha growled, refusing to cooperate until Sakura physically _sat_ on him to prevent a murder. Not to mention the paperwork process.

As soon as that was said and done, the pinkette turned to her other teammate."...The _hell_, Naruto?"

Naruto shrugged. "I live for the thrill."

"More like you were waiting for your turn at patrol, got bored, raided the candy stash," Sakura replied, finally noticing the empty Pocky boxes and one chocolate-smeared Hokage in training, "and got ridiculously sugar-high. And then decided our trigger-happy Uchiha pet here would be a good target for your annoying-ness."

"That too," Naruto admitted.

* * *

"Hey, Harry?" Hermione whispered in the dark.

"Yeah?" He whispered back.

"Well, what do you think of the guards?"

He blinked. "They're obviously strong, and really intimidating. Their voices seemed younger than an adult's though. They seemed dedicated to their job, and also really...unwelcoming, I guess? Honestly, I'm kind of afraid of them."

She was silent for a minute, before speaking. "Harry, I want to learn more about these people. You know, their world, their powers, even them as people. They looked so cold and distant...it's not natural! It's hardly humane, even! I don't know what happened to them to make them that way, but I want to try and find out. And if I can I..." She faltered. "I want to help them."

"Whoa whoa whoa," Ron joined the whispered conversation, "you want to approach the crazy strong ninja guards with super powers and try to _talk_ to them? Do you have a death wish?"

"I kind of agree with Ron on this one Hermione," Harry whispered. "They're really dangerous and they could hurt you. I wouldn't approach them, at least this soon." He paused. "But if they really are being hurt, or if they just want to make friends, you know I wouldn't hesitate."

"Yeah," Hermione murmured. "So we just wait and see how it all plays out?"

"You can always raid the library at Hogwarts tomorrow," Ron suggested, "if you're really that curious. You _are_ Hermione; I'm sure you'll find _something_."

Hermione smiled. "Okay. Thanks guys."

"No problem," they both chorused back.

"G'night."

* * *

**And second chapter is done! Man, that one took a lot longer than it should've...but hey, at least it's pretty good quality right? Maybe? Never mind. The entire premise of this story is crappy anyways.**

**So Hermione's getting interested, the ninja are fishing for info, and Hogwarts is coming up. Oh, the excitement. Sort of. Was it ****humorous, at least?**

**R&amp;R!**

**Love,**

**Sunsets**


	3. Chapter 3

**Quick word of note - I have been getting a few 'OMG, having Naruto in ANBU is so illogical and stupid' reviews, and since a bunch of them are guest reviews I want to address them in the A/N at the bottom of the chapter. I apologize for the paragraph that most of you don't want to read or don't care to read, I get a bit...ahem, _energetic_ when my stories and ideas are ****scrutinized****. Sorry all of you for putting a large chunk of bolded words that don't really involve the plot.**

**Now, back to our regularly scheduled content. Hope you all enjoy.**

Naruto breathed in and out, counting his heartbeat. His mind, for once, was clear.

The exercise was a comforting one, a routine that reminded him of home. Pervy-Sage had taught him the meditative pose when he learned just how bad his chakra control was - that is to say, complete shit - and forced him to practice it every night before he went to bed and every morning when he woke up, as well as when he was keeping watch. He continued the habit, up to this very day many years later.

His mouth curled at the mention of said sage. Despite their...ahem, lively banter, Naruto thought of the man as a father - that, or the extremely eccentric and perverted uncle who was super powerful and badass but also the kind of person you denied being related to in public. He hoped Jiraiya was doing well, back at home.

Speaking of home, Naruto hated to admit it but he was starting to long for the comfort of Konoha already. The task in front of them was a daunting one - an entire year of nonstop protection and vinegar - no, not that - vigil? Vigor? Vigilance, that was it. Even Naruto didn't know whether or not he had the stamina or energy to complete it.

Konoha was safety, it was home, and it was the only place on the planet Naruto felt like he belonged.

What was that old saying? Home is where the heart is? Well, his heart was inside each and every one of the villagers, inside Old Man Teuchi and Ayami and Tsunade-baa. Inside Jiraiya and Kaka-sensei and Kurenai and Asuma. All of his classmates in the Rookie Nine. Even in eccentric Gai-sensei, and creepy Anko, and Miroku, his mean and hardened ANBU tutor. Jeez, that guy had been a bastard, but Naruto probably would have kicked the bucket in the first five minutes of his first ANBU mission without his training, so there was that.

It wasn't the village he was loyal to, not really, because it was nothing but a collection of walls a buildings. He was loyal to the Will of Fire and his Hokage and his people.

So yeah. Little pieces of his heart were scattered around the village.

But, he was free to admit, a larger-than-average piece of his heart was inside Sakura and Sasuke, his teammates and his family and best friends and worst enemies all rolled into one colorful, dysfunctional package.

He could already imagine them making some snarky comment about his usage of 'dysfunctional', as if he hadn't known it before. Pssh.

Okay, he looked it up in a dictionary. Sue him.

Naruto spread out his chakra, and could faintly feel Sakura's signature in their room behind him, calm and steady. It was something he always did when he was on watch, as soon as he had the proper control to do so - it was actually really easy, and didn't require the precision of a jutsu, but a useful skill nonetheless. It was comforting, to both him and Sakura, to know they were both there. Her signature glowed slightly, latching on to his and hugging his chakra. He smiled. So she was awake.

He did the same to Sasuke and noticed the same reaction, well, almost - Sasuke's signature flared sharply in annoyance, and Naruto could practically imagine him hissing, 'Knock it off, dobe, I'm trying to sleep'. His grin grew wider.

Naruto readjusted his ANBU mask for the umpteenth time, because yes, they were made of porcelain and yes, it was as uncomfortable as it sounded. It was basically the equivalent of having a dinner plate stuck to your head. And not one of the cool swirly ones, but the ugly, yellow-and purple faded flower ones old ladies were obsessed with.

Yeah, not comfortable. Whatsoever.

Naruto had to wonder who the heck came up with the idea - preferably so he could slap them in the face. Hard. With a Rasengan. - because while the porcelain did look the best with the colored designs, surely there were other materials just as nice looking, _without_ being ten pounds of glass?

Wood would work. It was light enough that it wouldn't be a hassle and painted wood looked good a- oh. Katon jutsu. Never mind.

Plastic? Metal? No, they would melt under intense heat. Plus, metal was heavy.

Rock? Um, hell no.

Fabric? That sounded stupid even in his head.

Huh. Maybe porcelain _was_ the only option.

But porcelain wasn't as good as it could be. What if someone engineered something, maybe a combination of wood and plastic to make it lighter but fireproof and then-

Whoa. He blinked. Stay focused.

Ugh, ANBU was so freaking annoying at times.

ANBU was not fun. It was not cool. And it certainly wasn't easy. The hardest part so far was the responsibility, the seriousness, and the constant vigilance.

Which, he would easily admit, were not things he was normally associated with. Ever.

Yeah, when he had first told Tsunade-baa he wanted to join ANBU, she had laughed her ass off. When he told her he was serious in a completely no-nonsense tone, she sobered and looked at him strangely.

_"I don't think you want to do that, Naruto." Her eyes pierced his._

_Naruto shuffled uncomfortably. "Um, yes I do. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."_

_"Naruto, **listen** to me. ANBU isn't all fun and games. The kind of missions operatives get sent on... those things can break people, ruin their psyche permanently. It can literally drive you insane."_

_"You think I don't know that?" He narrowed his eyes._

_She rose from her seat in anger, moving in front of her desk. "Yes! I think you just view ANBU as another stepping stone, just a way to get to Hokage sooner. But let me tell you this - if you let ANBU destroy you, you are going to lose your chance at Hokage."_

_"Baa-chan, I know the risks. But I want to do this."_

_"No you don't! Naruto, you will have to kill people in cold blood. You will kill potential innocents to keep covers. You will have to lie and cheat and steal and do unspeakable things to people. You will have to fight tooth and nail to make it back to the village after every mission, and one day it won't work, and you'll come home in a body bag or **not at all**."_

_"Tsunade-sama!", he yelled, and Tsunade looked startled at the lack of affectionate homophix. "I know. Kami, I know. But I need to. I want to help."_

_"Dammit, boy!" Tsunade's cry was sudden and fierce. "Do you know how ANBU destroyed ME? How it forced me to extreme methods to cope? How it ruined Jiraiya's true goofiness and laughter, how it helped drive Orochimaru crazy?" She was yelling now. "Every year, there are ANBU who drop out of the program, never to be the same again! We have **put down** operatives that are driven insane for the safety of the village!" Naruto did not know that. It chilled him to the core._

_She was suddenly silent. Her arms reached out and grasped Naruto. Before he knew it, he was pulled into a hug. The blonde, shocked, stared at her._

_"Dammit, boy." She whispered into his shoulder. "I can't lose you to that madness. You know I can't lose you too."_

Naruto bit his lip from the memory. Tsunade was one of the strongest people he knew, and seeing her looking so...so downhearted, desperate, broken; it killed him inside.

That day, he made three resolutions. Number one was the most obvious, a promise to his Hokage. He would still join ANBU - after all, he was Naruto freaking Uzumaki, and from the words of Sakura-chan, "not even the will of Kami-sama himself could stop him from achieving his dream". He _needed_ the opportunity, especially after-

After...

_It_.

Naruto clenched his fist. He forcefully rerouted his train of thought.

His second promise was to Tsunade. Not Hokage-sama, not the Slug Princess, not the Sanin, but to the woman behind each and every one of those titles.

_"Tsunade-baa..." Naruto said softly._

_She was grieving silently, tears dripping down her face and onto his hair. Her head bowed and her eyes flowing with tears, but still her will was resolute - she would not whimper, or cry, or utter a sound._

_"I've thought about this for a while. Yes, I **can** think. This isn't the kind of decision I can just leap into, y'know? I talked about it a lot with my team, even Kakashi - **man**, was he surprised - but eventually they all agreed. This...we **need** to do this._

_"And I know the risks, which is why I'll tell you something. I promise you. I won't let ANBU destroy me. And you know how I always keep my promises - it's my ninja way." He chuckled._

_"Besides, I can't really be lost if I'm not alone. Well, I can, but I'll have people to fight with. I'm going with Sakura and Sasuke, see? They're the best, wanted to protect me and stay by my side." He was rambling absently, talking to her in a soothing voice. "Unreal, right? Before, I didn't have anybody's loyalty. No one trusted me, and yet those two...they're willing to follow me to the pits of Hell."_

_He laughed. "Maybe ANBU **is** the personification of Hell. I don't know. But I need this, Tsunade-baa. I need people to trust me, to reach out to me, I need people to not judge me by my face. I want to be the protector, the shield of Konoha. I **need** this. And Sasuke needs this, not for others but himself. He doesn't trust himself, not after everything that happened. We've forgiven him, but Sasuke hasn't forgiven himself yet and that's a bad situation to be in. He wants to prove it to himself that he **can** do selfless good. _

_"And Sakura...well, she doesn't need this at all. She's strong, and reliable, and everyone loves her. She's always been the... **normal** one. I'd be happier if she stayed home safe, she might be too, but it's **Sakura-chan **here. You know her as well as I do; that she'd follow us wherever, and there's nothing we could do to stop her. I don't think she needs this; I think she needs **us**, and that's such a nice feeling, y'know? I feel bad, 'course I do, dragging her down to this, but a part of me is happy 'cause my team will be there with me, like always._

_"I gave them both a choice, I actually told them not to come. And you know what they said? They told me that like it or not, I'm stuck with them. Sasuke actually told me to shut the fuck up, because I was being ridiculous saying they weren't coming." He grinned at her, a grin full of immeasurable happiness. "They have no idea how happy that made me. Maybe I'm selfish. But aren't I the luckiest person ever?"_

_Tsunade was listening; the tears were gone._

_"We're going in as a team, and we're gonna quit ANBU as a team. No team casualties, 'cause we're too awesome to die. We'll be the greatest ANBU team for a while, but I don't plan on staying too long. Neither does Sakura. Sasuke, he might stay, but I doubt it. He's happy with us, and everyone knows it but he won't admit it. The bastard," Naruto said fondly._

_"We'll make it out alive." The single phrase made Tsunade clutch him just a little tighter._

_"Besides, how am I gonna steal your hat if I'm insane or lying six feet under? Have some more faith, baa-chan." _

_First there was nothing. Nothing but silence, and Naruto wondered if he had screwed up, if his talk-no-jutsu had finally failed him._

_Then, a laugh._

_No, not a laugh. An airy chuckle, an expressive one. One full of wry agreement and happiness and relief and **love**._

_Tsunade released Naruto from her death hug, facing him and cupping a cheek with her hand. "Hmph. If you want to even get close to those ANBU forms, boy, you'll need to bring me AT LEAST a hundred liters of sake." she said seriously. Her eyes, though, were mirthful._

Naruto promised her to not die, to not be broken beyond repair. And he meant every word he said - he was NOT breaking that promise, or any of his promises for that matter.

His third promise was to himself, and himself only.

He swore that he would protect his loved ones. More so than ever.

Because he realized how terrified Tsunade was of losing him. He realized how hurt she would be if he was damaged, scarred, or Kami forbid _dead_. He realized that if he played martyr too much, if he was up on the front lines losing limbs or blood, others were going to suffer _too_.

He knew it theoretically before. But seeing it, feeling it, that was something _totally_ different.

He imagined Sakura, or Sasuke, or Kakashi, or Tsunade being hurt. He imaged the unthinkable agony, the guilt, the horror. Naruto couldn't do that to everyone. To any of them. So he promised himself to take care of them, but take care of himself too, because that was indirectly helping them as well.

Letting out a calming breath, Naruto felt a determined grin take over his face.

He was on watch now, and stupid wizard world or not, as long as he was standing his teammates would not be hurt. By anyone, or anything - including himself.

* * *

Sasuke liked sleep.

Now, some might argue that Sasuke never really 'liked' much of anything, but it was true. He liked sleep. Anyone who claimed he was incapable of even remotely enjoying anything ever was just being annoying. And stupid.

Sheesh. He wasn't a robot. He still had normal bodily functions thank-you-very-much.

So when he was pulled from the niceness of sleep by that idiot's annoying cheerful chakra, he couldn't help but lash out. Maybe it was a bit mean, but Sasuke had long since not cared about being 'nice'.

That idiot was _totally_ asking for it.

He figuratively pushed Naruto's - bright, warm, cheery - _annoying_ chakra away from his body. Ugh. Can't he just let a man sleep?

Okay, so maybe he wasn't a man - yet - and sure, he was due for watch soon. But he wanted _sleep_, goddammit.

He drifted off again into glorious darkness; Sasuke didn't know how long it was for but it seemed like only seconds until Naruto's chakra was suddenly latching onto him again and it was stronger this time. Sasuke had to hand it to him, Naruto was nothing if not persistent. And annoying, but that was kind of an established fact and Sasuke tried to not make a habit of pointing out the obvious. That was more his idiot teammates' jobs.

Sasuke tried to ignore the chakra but it kept getting brighter. He grunted in annoyance.

All of a sudden, the hairs on his arms raised because_ a presence was next to his bed **what the hell**_**.**

Kunai raised, he lurched out of bed and almost tackled an apologetic and slightly terrified blonde. "Um...it's your turn for watch?" Naruto offered sheepishly. His mask was on.

Sasuke released his almost choke hold on the blonde and hissed, "_Okay_, idiot." He shuffled out of bed as Naruto settled down gratefully. Sasuke slipped his kunai into his pouch as he began putting his chestplate on.

Meanwhile, Naruto had stripped off his armor and weapons - save a few emergency kunai under his pillow - in record time, and was slumped on his bed. "Sasuke, 'm tired." He groaned quietly.

"Then sleep."

"Can't till you're officially on guard."

"That's nice."

"Get y'r ass out there for patrol and watch. I wanna sleep."

"Fine."

"_Fasterrr_."

"I get it."

"H'rry _up_. You're still next to y'r bed."

"I'm_ getting ready_, idiot. Stop bugging me."

"'m not." He yawned.

"_Yes_ you are."

"Please, Sasu, my voice is freaking magical. 'Course y'wanna hear it."

"_No I do not_ you idiot. Now seriously-"

"Both of you_ shut up_." An irritated female voice entered the conversation. Sasuke quickly put on the rest of his armor and headed out, because even he didn't want to deal with a sleep deprived Sakura.

Ugh. Annoying.

Yeah, Sasuke officially hated Europe.

* * *

Sakura was tired.

Honestly, it wasn't even the fact that they had been sucked into a demonic whirlpool or spent way too long examining random houses before finally stumbling into a foreign hideout with everyone there speaking gibberish.

Sakura was absolutely certain that it was all. Her. Teammates'. Fault.

Always.

They were exhausting. Seriously, why did SHE have to be the even-tempered one! She had a bitc- _fiery_ personality by nature, she didn't want to play peacemaker for a bunch of egotistical, testosterone-infused _morons_!

_Ugh_.

So when she had blinked her bleary eyes, hearing voices, yes, she was angry. Hell, she could've murdered someone on the spot. Luckily they hushed up and she drifted back into peacefulness almost immediately afterwards.

Later, when Sakura was shaken awake by her dark haired teammate, she immediately realized she slept like a rock, because on any other day she would've been up the second Sasuke's presence entered the room. Man. She must've been tireder than she thought.

She sent her teammate a grateful look, one he nodded in return to, and pulled herself out of her bed. She slipped the senbon clenched in her hand back into her pouch. She didn't remember grabbing them after patrol, so she must've done that unconsciously too. Her hair was in her face and her clothes were slightly rumpled - AND she had fallen asleep with her armor. Sheesh, she was a mess.

Sakura stretched twice, arching her back with satisfying cracks. "What time is it?" She called.

"Not sure," Naruto responded, already up and about. He was taking his duffle and plopping it over his shoulder. "I have a civilian watch, but it's not synched with the timezone here."

"Great." Sakura groaned. "We'll need to ask someone about that."

Sasuke grunted in agreement, he too hauling his bag up to his chest.

Sakura quickly followed to do the same, realizing she was behind. Haphazardly, she stuffed the toiletries she got from the little gift basket into her duffle. She was still kind of pissed that Naruto ate her cookies - he would owe her for that later.

She zipped her bag up and was finished in record time. "Well, let's join the party," she muttered. "And hope they have something for breakfast."

"Yup," Naruto murmured in reply. "I'll go first."

She nodded, and Naruto lead the way, reaching up to pull his porcelain mask onto his face from its position on top of his head. Sakura followed suit; Sasuke was behind her, but she assumed he did the same.

The house was just as creepy during the day as it was during the night, she noticed. That was a novel feat; not to mention the fact that Sakura was not an easily scared person by nature. She came across the hallway she had set up her chakra netting in, and decided to examine the paintings in broader daylight.

Sure enough, there was a painting of an old man who was looking at her funny. "N'ver seena mask like that one before."

Naruto and Sasuke both jumped, weapons flashing. Sakura herself was a bit taken aback. So it _was_ the paintings.

She disliked this wacky place already.

"Um, hello." Sakura said a tad nervously.

The old man moved his head - moved! MOVED! - to sport a crooked grin. "Why hello there darlin'."

"I'd stay away from old Callister," another voice cut in. "He's crazy."

Sakura turned to a second painting, this time with a young boy with sandy hair and an impish smile. "Hi Miss! What's your name? Where are ya from? Why are you wearing a mask, ooh, is that a sword? Can I see? Please? Please? I promise I'll be careful! Ooh! And how about your friends? Are they nice? They look real scary, Miss." The boy said all this in one breath and Sakura couldn't help but gape.

He tilted his head at her silence. "What's the matter, miss? You look like you've seen a ghost or something! Don't worry about that though, miss, there aren't any mean ones around here, just Jack, and he's super friendly and adorable! He's a puppy, miss. Do you like puppies? I do too! They're my favorite animal, well, besides dragons. I mean, I think puppies awesome, but dragons are just sooooo much cooler, miss! They breathe fire and can swoop in and out of the sky! Walter says that he's seen a giant green one, but that's just gibberish! Aren't all dragons red? It would be so cool to see a bright blue one, though! Dragons are just so bloody awesome, miss!"

"Arnie! Watch your tongue!" A motherly looking woman on a painting next to the boy's snapped. "You are in the presence of a lady, act like it! My goodness," she sighed.

"Yes, Mrs. Patty," the boy mumbled.

"Now, apologize." The woman ordered.

"Sorry, miss."

"Good boy." Mrs. Patty humphed. "Now, how about we let our esteemed guests introduce themselves?"

"Oh yeah!" Suddenly, the boy was entirely perky again. "What's your name, Miss? Where are you from? I mean, your voice sounds a little different from mine so you might not be from here but that's totally okay! Oh! Are you a samurai? I hearda bunch of stories from James, miss, he says that the Black family has a bunch of samurai protectors now, and they're ten feet tall with a buncha awesome weapons! That's so cool! But you don't really look like a samurai, miss! Do you know who the samurai are so I can meet them? I'd really appreciate it, Miss! Oh! And you need to meet Mr. Robinson, he's over two halls down, he's brilliant!"

Sakura, while this entire exchange was going on, was utterly silent. She suddenly snapped out of her stunned trance and exclaimed in a rush, "I apologize but I think I have to go on an urgent errand that absolutely cannot be delayed bye," and with that, Sakura was racing away from the creepy paintings, her boys right behind her.

Her cheeks burned in shame as she came to a stop around the corner. She, a kunoichi of Konohagakure, running in fear from talking paintings? It was absurd, it was disgraceful, it was so unlike her...but it was _terrifying_ so _screw it_, she had no regrets.

"What...the _fuck_ was that?" Sasuke breathed from next to her.

"The reason why I almost shit my pants last night," Sakura replied nervously.

Naruto seemed contemplative. "Yeah, if I saw those guys in the dark I'd probably shit myself too."

"I'm glad you approve," Sakura said dryly.

"You should be, since _I'm_ the captain." Naruto retorted.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really!"

"Well then, Captain-_sama_, who made Jounin first?"

"Jounin doesn't matter, because _I_ made ANBU first!"

Sasuke cut in. "Are we seriously arguing about rank here? Because, as much as I hate to admit it, Naruto outranks us _both_ Sakura."

"Yeah, so? I can still order him around because I'm stronger." Sakura intoned haughtily.

"Oh, you're stronger, eh? That's a _laugh_, Sakura-chan." Naruto was in her face now.

"I can knock your blonde ass on the floor in two seconds flat and you _know_ it."

"And I can Rasengan you into oblivion in _one_."

"Well, I can break your body composition down _on an atomic level_ with a wave of my hand."

"I'm going to pretend I know what that means. Anyways, I can shred your entire body with Rasenshuriken _easy-peasy_!"

"Oh yeah, because a swirling disk of blue energy - that's louder than a freaking _Chidori_ \- is _sooo_ subtle and undodgable. I had Tsunade chuck rocks at me for training, if you think I'll let that stupid Frisbee hit me you've got another thing comi-"

"As macho as this is," Sasuke interrupted dryly, "Seriously, we need to move."

Sakura huffed in exasperation before turning away. "Lead the way, _Captain_."

* * *

Dumbly-door was waiting for them downstairs, his spectacles twinkling like strobe lights. Honestly, Naruto was confused as to why, exactly, that was. The torches weren't exactly all that bright.

"Ah, ninjas. Good morning. Shall I get you some breakfast?"

Naruto nodded curtly, clearing his throat. "That would be appreciated, thank you."

"Of course," he said kindly, and pulled a long wooden stick out of his pocket. Giving the stick a couple of waves, he pointed to a room they had yet to be in - out from the room came flying silver dishes, done in a Western style of...skulls and black roses?

The blonde ANBU captain groaned silently. It couldn't just be flying dishes. No no no. It had to be flying DEATH dishes. Oh, kill him now.

Dumbly-door waved a free hand towards him as he turned into a different room, and the three ninja traded shocked glances of 'yeah, we're dreaming' and 'please, can we go home?' before following.

They arrived in what seemed like a dining hall, with high chairs and tables and a dark, gothic setting. The table was mostly empty, save for a single person sitting at the very end. His figure was almost completely hidden in shadow, but Naruto could see that it was one of the people from yesterday's crowd.

Dumbly called out something in English, and the man turned to the group. His eyes widened a little, before he spoke.

Sakura fidgeted uncomfortably, obviously disliking how people were talking about them without her knowledge. Naruto could sympathize.

Sasuke glanced at them both, reading their body language. Obviously, he was a bit concerned as well.

Naruto:_ Better get on with those dictionaries soon._

Sakura: _I know, but why me?_

Naruto:_ Because you're smarter than me and Sasuke combined._

Sasuke interjected with a well placed elbow jab.

Sakura:_ Knock it off, Sasuke._ She looked to Naruto._ Fine._

He nodded slightly to her in response, and noticed Dumbledore responding in the foreign tongue once more, before turing to the trio. "This is Black Sirius-san, the owner of this house and our gracious host. He says welcome."

The three ninja bowed in response. While the home was certainly...not to their tastes, they had to appreciate the hospitality, of course.

There were platters upon platters of strange meats that they had never seen, buns in all shapes and sizes, what seemed like eggs except prepared in a strange manner, and pots of colored gelatin and tiny tins of off-white mush.

It was weird.

But, Team Seven was nothing if not professional and polite on a job - in public - so they sat down to eat.

Until, of course, they realized that oh, they couldn't eat without taking their masks off. Luckily, Sasuke, one step ahead as always, cast a genjutsu to make it look like they were eating Kakashi-style - intaking food fast enough to not catch a glimpse of their faces.

The ninja actually weren't sure whether or not a genjutsu would work, considering the similarities observed so far between this place's illusion magic and genjutsu, but it would be a good test.

They sat down, said a quick prayer to Kami, (Sirius-san was very un-subtle when he stared at them oddly), and began.

Sakura found a strange liking to the colored gelatin-like substances - Dumbly-door called them 'jams' - and would spread them onto the many bread products with a little too much gusto. ("Neko-san," the headmaster said, eyes twinkling, "don't you want a little biscuit with that strawberry jam?")

Naruto himself tried a little bit of everything, but especially liked the long strips of salty meat that the foreigners referred to as 'bacon'. ("This," Naruto murmured to Sakura so Dumbledore wouldn't overhear, "is literally the greatest thing ever. One day I will eat this with ramen, and it will be _glorious_.")

Sasuke, though he loved the tomatoes - surprise, surprise - he absolutely _detested_ the bacon. ("You...have no soul..." Naruto whispered sadly. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. "If I wanted to die from extreme salt intake, I'd have some umeboshi.)

The ninja finished long before the Headmaster had, and they stood up before bowing. "Thank you for the meal," they murmured as one.

The Headmaster replied with, "You are very welcome. Now, I'm sure you'd like to hear about the schedule for today." They nodded. "Sit, please, no need to stand. You will be Apparating to a small village just outside of Hogwarts, due to magical wards that prevent teleportation directly on the school grounds. Our Deputy Headmistress and Transfiguration professor, Minerva McGonagall, will be waiting for you at the entrance of the school to admit you inside.

"Once there, you will have two weeks to set up security measures and familiarize yourselves with the grounds. Professor McGonagall will also show you where you will be staying, as well as where to get meals. We will also provide you each with an emergency portkey, to instantly teleport to a safe room should trouble arise and you must get Harry to safety, although I'm sure your own teleportation techniques will work as well."

Naruto intoned, "Where will the portkey to the school be located?"

"It is in the entrance hall."

"Very well, we shall prepare and make our final defenses here." Naruto paused. "Might I ask why we are not staying here with our charge?"

Dumbledore's spectacles twinkled. "My friends, if the enemy can find Harry here, the battle is already lost. Even should they find Harry, I still have a duty to the rest of my students as Headmaster. When Harry is leaving for the school year, we will send a message and you may accompany him from here to Hogwarts. Does that seem acceptable?"

"Yes," Sakura spoke for the three of them. "Also, may we have those dictionaries?"

"Ah, yes." Dumbly took out a - stick? - wand from his robes and waved it once, muttering something illegible. In a swirl of foreign power, a stack of books appeared on the dining table. Sakura took out a scroll, bit her thumb, and swiped it across the scroll. All the books were sucked into the storage scroll and she signed, 'Mission accomplished. Let's finish some perimeter stuff now'.

"Thank you." said Naruto. "May we be excused? We have much to do."

Dumbly-door nodded, and the three ninja nodded before weaving hand signs.

Suddenly, there was a jolt in Naruto's navel as his chakra suddenly flared to life. Naruto felt the green leaves swirl around him and suddenly they were back in their room.

"Why'd we Shushin here?" Sakura questioned. "We have our bags and everything."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "I don't know. I was aiming for the outside for some final perimeter traps - Kurama redirected me."

Sakura and Sasuke tensed.

* * *

"'Mioneeeee, why are we up so early? You're not going to find them!"

"Ron, we've discussed this. All I want to do is say good morning to the guards face-to-face, nothing more! And if we don't end up finding them, it's alright too!"

"'Mione, slow down! Apparently they're leaving today to go set up defenses at the school, or that's what George told me at least. I think they should stay far away from me, because they're bloody creepy!"

"Ron..."

"Oh come on! You know it's true!"

"Of course it is! That's why I'm going to introduce myself! Who knows? Maybe they want a friend!"

"'Mione, that's just stupid!"

"That is not stupid! It's the right thing to do!"

"Not if you're going to get yourself killed trying to be friends with bloody psychopaths!"

"And that's just my point! We don't know that they're psychopaths, we don't know anything about them! And we never will if we don't give them a chance!"

"...ngh...Hermione? ..R..Ron? What are you...?"

"Oh, sorry Harry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Ngh, it's alright...why are you up at five thirty in the morning exactly?"

"Harry, tell Hermione that visiting the bloody guards before they go to Hogwarts is a STUPID IDEA!"

"...'Mione...that's not a great idea."

"Dammit Harry!"

"See? SEE? Even Harry thinks it's a terrible idea, and he's the king of running off into danger!"

"Hey!"

"Hey!"

"OW! What was that for?"

"THAT was for insulting me."

"Same here."

"Hmph!"

The mischievous trio began climbing up the stairs, not really paying attention to where they were going.

"Well, why do you think it's such a bad idea, Harry?"

"I dunno, 'Mione, it just seems like they don't want to be bothered. They're getting so much attention here that I doubt they'll want more."

"I suppose...but what if they're in danger, Harry? What if...if they're being forced here or, or...or being controlled! Didn't you see how weirdly Dumbledore was talking about them? There's definitely stuff we don't know about going on here, and I don't want them to be hurt!"

"I'm not saying that's a bad thing, 'Mione, but honestly, if they end up attacking you, do you think you could protect yourself? They're NINJA, Hermione!"

"Well, I need to try! Bystanders will solve none of the world's problems!"

"You are _way_ too determined about this..."

* * *

Naruto readied kunai as footsteps drew closer. He clenched his teeth together.

"Triangle position. We're going _Chikyuu no Monshou_," he hissed. His teammates nodded, all seriousness. Sakura's chakra flared as her three Byakugou seals glowed an eerie purple, while Sasuke's eyes began to spin with the power of the Mangekyou as he drew his sword. Naruto himself took out two of his specialty Fuuton knives, preparing for battle.

They stood in a triangle, Naruto and Sasuke up front and Sakura behind them. Sasuke and Naruto would engage the enemy with taijutsu and kenjutsu combination while Sakura would gather chakra for her finishing move - _Megami no Jishin_. Then, the two would step back and Sakura would pound them into the ground.

The door opened, and in walked three teenagers totally immersed in a conversation. One had curly brown hair, another ginger, and yet another had spiky black.

The two groups locked eyes with one another.

**That cliffhanger though. Kinda.**

**A few things of note -**

**Umeboshi is Japanese salted plums. I'm gonna pretend Sasuke likes them. As for said Uchiha hating bacon (*gasp*)...that may or may not be a running joke for the rest of the story. **

**Yes, Sakura has three byakugou seals. Yes, this is intentional. YES, I WILL EXPLAIN LATER. Okay? Okay.**

**Hermione is trying to reach out to them because it's part of her nature. Remember SPEW? I feel like she'd try and do something similar with the poor, abused ninja.**

**Naruto, Jiraiya and Tsunade have the best mother-father-son relationship, and I'll fight anyone who disagrees.**

**Chikyuu no Monshou is 'Heralds of the Earth', while Sakura's move is 'Goddess' Earthquake'. Fitting? Maybe? (Also, Sakura's move _does_ have to do with her multiple byakugou seals. I WILL EXPLAIN LATER.)**

**Okay. Now that I'm through with the actual content: I got some guest reviews and a couple of normal ones asking about Naruto being in ANBU and how it makes him seem OOC. I do want to address this as it is an important point. If you don't care, skip to the review section (because I want reviews, dammit. It's not that much to ask). If not, read on.**

**Firstly, and most importantly, THIS IS AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. Yeah. Uh-huh. I know it doesn't seem like it, at all, whatsoever, but it is. There will be major plot revelations soon that will show just how different this story is.**

**Secondly, Naruto is in ANBU for a multitude of reasons, besides plot. ANBU is a place for Naruto to learn maturity, leadership, decision making, and sacrifice. Things he needs to learn if he's ever going to be a good Hokage. And no, I'm not saying he'd be a sucky leader right now. Well, I am kinda, but not in the way you think.**

**Naruto is an awesome person, and super fun and exciting and charismatic, but let's face it. He lives in a world of war and bloodshed. And while I will never tarnish his goal for peace and friendship between everyone, he needs to _understand_ everyone in order to befriend everyone. It's all about balance - to truly understand good, you must understand evil. To understand life, you must understand death. One is meaningless without the other, and Naruto seeing the world through only the 'good' side is, while sweet, extremely naive, and just an incomplete picture of the world. He may have experience with cruelty and suffering, sure, but not with the true horrors of the ninja life. Making tough calls. Understanding what loyalty to a village means. Torture, innocent blood, collateral damage. These are all things vital for him to understand, _in order to combat them in the future_. In order to fight these horrors, he needs to understand them, see exactly why they are such terrible things, and gain the resolve to _never_ let something like this happen.**

**Naruto is strong. I believe that ANBU is a necessary step, and it won't destroy him like it does others. It will mature him.**

**Make sense? Okay. Rant over. (I am SO going to get flamed for this. Oh well.)**

**I'm thrilled that people are enjoying this little project so far. I've been working out a plot line - as you can see - and there will be lots of character development, badassery, and of course pranks and fooling around 'cause why not. **

**Thanks again, readers.**

**R&amp;R!**

**Love,**

**ShiningSunsets**


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